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Quote by Dave Barry

“I do some of my best reading while seated in the bathroom.”

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Dave Barry is a renowned American humorist, born on July 3, 1947. His works are known for their unique humor style and satirical observations of everyday life. more

“I've been to Washington many times over the years for stories, and it always seems remarkably the same. More the same than the rest of the country. It's almost like they dress the same as they did 20 years ago. The same old guys are sitting outside the same dirty, dingy secret offices in the Capitol that you're not allowed to go in.”

Years Country Stories Seems Guy Secret Office Sitting Years Ago Dresses Dirty Capitol Old Guys

Author:Dave Barry

“I never stop running. I'm not one of the weenies who drop out just because the electoral college votes. I'm still in the race. I'm an extremely corrupt candidate and I stress that in case anybody in our reading audience is interested in sending me money.”

Stills Running Reading Race Cases Audience College Vote Stress Candidates Electoral College

Author:Dave Barry

“I'm a humorist. A guy like Paul Simon just makes my life so much simpler. When I was there, he had a hearing against hate. Steven Spielberg came and testified against hate. Paul Simon said hate was bad. Orrin Hatch was there, and he was against hate too. Everyone was opposed to hate. Is this really a wonderful way to spend our tax dollars, to have these men drone away about how against hate they are?”

Men Way Said Guy Hate Wonderful Taxes Dollars Hearing Drones Humorists Tax Dollars

Author:Dave Barry

“Every year I write a tax advice column and I used to always make fun of that. One year, one of my favorite IRS commissioners, I think his name was Roscoe somebody, wrote that one of the most often-asked questions by taxpayers was, "How can I contribute more?" Well, I tell ya, ol' Roscoe's really been doing situps under parked cars again. I've heard a lot of people ask a lot of questions about taxes, but I never heard anybody say, "How can I, the ordinary person, send more money for no reason?"”

“This was years ago, I think during the early [Ronald] Reagan years. I came up with a plan that everybody just pay $8.95 in taxes. Cheating would be allowed. But the incentive to cheat wouldn't be nearly as great if you only had to pay the $8.95. There were a few people who would have to pay hundreds of millions of dollars under this plan. I think it was Mark Goodson and Bill Todman, the guys who do the quiz shows. But almost everybody else would be off really cheap.”

People Ifs Thinking Years Shows Would Be Guy Pay Millions Plans Taxes Years Ago Mark Bills Dollars Cheating Cheat Incentives Quiz Quiz Show

Author:Dave Barry

“When I grow up I want to be a little boy.”

Want Inspirational Children Littles Play Grows Boys Growing Up Son Little Boys Inner Child Children Playing

Book:Something happened

Source: Something happened

Quote by Dave Barry

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