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Quote by P. J. O'Rourke

“Politics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling class.”

Quote by P. J. O'Rourke

Author

P. J. O'Rourke, born on November 14, 1947, is a renowned satirical writer known for his humorous and satirical commentary on political and social issues. His distinctive writing style, characterized by wit and sharpness, has won him a wide readership. more

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“In comparative terms, there's no poverty in America by a long shot. Heritage Foundation political scientist Robert Rector has worked up figures showing that when the official U.S. measure of poverty was developed in 1963, a poor American family had an income twenty-nine times greater than the average per capita income in the rest of the world. An individual American could make more money than 93 percent of the other people on the planet and still be considered poor.”

Source: Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government

“It's the squares who know how to fly the fighter planes and operate the missiles and the bombs and work the M-16s. Liberals would still be fumbling with the federally mandated trigger locks.”

Knows Stills Humor Funny Know How Fighter Planes Bombs Squares Locks Triggers Missiles

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“It takes a lot of weapons to do good works (as Richard the Lionhearted could have told us). And this is not just a Somali problem. We have poverty and deprivation in our own country. Try standing unarmed on a street corner in Compton handing out twenty-dollar bills and see how long you last.”

Source: All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty

“The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know.”

Knows Littles Citizens Drink Sitting Drinking Average Glasses Coffee Bunch Cups Paris Monkeys Whiskey Coffee Cup Baltimore True You Stylish

Book:Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader

Source: Thrown Under the Omnibus: A Reader

“Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.”

Littles Country Humor Funny Sports Known Queens Fisherman Illiterate

Author:P. J. O'Rourke

“Imagine a weight-loss program at the end of which, instead of better health, good looks, and hot romantic prospects, you die. Somalia had become just this kind of spa.”

Looks Kind Ends Dies Loss Imagine Program Weight Hot Looking Good Weight Loss Prospects Somalia Spas

Book:All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty

Source: All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty

“The morning meal was served in traditional socialist fashion - very slowly, with the courses out of order so that the jelly arrived half an hour after the toast and the coffee didn't come until we'd called for the check. However, it was hard to be angry at a place that had ice cream, beer, and cigarettes on its breakfast menu.”

Source: All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty

“Of course, the humans in Haiti have hope. They hope to leave.”

Humans Courses Having Hope Haiti

Book:Thrown Under the Omnibus

Source: Thrown Under the Omnibus

“When government does, occasionally, work, it works in an elitist fashion. That is, government is most easily manipulated by people who have money and power already. This is why government benefits usually go to people who don't need benefits from government. Government may make some environmental improvements, but these will be improvements for rich bird-watchers. And no one in government will remember that when poor people go bird-watching they do it at Kentucky Fried Chicken.”

“If we're going to improve the environment, the first thing we should do is duck the government. The second thing we should do is quit being moral. Screw the rights of nature. Nature will have rights as soon as it get duties. The minute we see birds, trees, bugs, and squirrels picking up litter, giving money to charity, and keeping an eye on our kids at the park, we'll let them vote.”

Source: All the Trouble in the World: The Lighter Side of Overpopulation, Famine, Ecological Disaster, Ethnic Hatred, Plague, and Poverty