“I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine.” FirstsTwoShowsCareersTvsSeasonsMadPossessionCocaine Author:Artie Lange
“Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.” WritingTwoRealShowsRocksAwardsFrankEmmysSnl Author:Artie Lange
“Jason Alexander is a committed actor, he went from working on a show about nothing to actually doing nothing.” ShowsActorsCommittedDoing NothingJason Author:Artie Lange
“Howard's unbelievably nutty, politically incorrect style is probably the single biggest influence on me.” InfluenceStyleNutty Author:Artie Lange
“In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.” NamesPartyHollywoodBirthdayRetirementBirthday Party40th BirthdayRetirement Party Author:Artie Lange
“Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.” HateDrugEmsHate YouBeing Cool Author:Artie Lange
“Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.” WellsProblemGuyDrugDiedDrinkingRanOverdoseDrinking Problem Author:Artie Lange
“I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.” PeopleThinkingWayTwoGuyCommunitySupportRightsGayKissingGrossGay RightsTwo GuysGay CommunityGay Friend Author:Artie Lange
“I have a bad gambling problem. You're not in show business for 12 years and dress like this without a bad gambling problem.” YearsShowsProblemDressesGamblingShow Business Author:Artie Lange