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Quote by Emo Philips

“Because we allow handguns. When you know someone in the crowd might be packing a rod, it can't help but rush your timing.”

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Emo Philips

Emo Philips, born on February 7, 1956, is a versatile entertainer known for his contributions to music, performance, and comedy. His unique style and humor have won him the affection of a wide audience. more

“I'm very religious, you know. Now, OK, if by 'religious', you mean that I go to church every Sunday, read the bible faithfully, and I listen to Debbie Boone, umm, I'm not religious in that sense... But if by 'religious' you mean that I love others and try to help them whenever possible... Again, no. But if by 'religious' you mean that I like to eat coleslaw... Yeah, OK, OK!”

Ifs Knows Trying Mean Helping Church Religious Yeah Sunday

Author:Emo Philips

“Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.”

Feels Buying Vowels

Author:Emo Philips

“When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!”

Men I Can Kids Sheets Rubber Wetness

Author:Emo Philips

“They call me Good Time Emo. Because I love a good time! And my name is Emo.”

Names Good Times Call Me Emo

Author:Emo Philips

“I'm from Downer's Grove, Illinois. We had a blackout there the other day, but fortunately the police made him get back into his car before he got too far.”

Made Car Police Get Back Grove Illinois Downers Blackouts

Author:Emo Philips

“I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.”

Ifs Thinking Dies Christ

Author:Emo Philips

“We reveal our joys and successes, we conceal our pain.”

Pain Joy

Author:Jesse Jackson

Quote by Emo Philips

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