Home / Quotes / Quote by Emo Philips

Quote by Emo Philips

“When I was a kid, my nickname was Mr. Baseball. Because of the stitches.”

Quote by Emo Philips

Author

Emo Philips, born on February 7, 1956, is a versatile entertainer known for his contributions to music, performance, and comedy. His unique style and humor have won him the affection of a wide audience. more

You May Also Like

“Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.”

People Hate Mets Hate Me

Author:Emo Philips

“Writing jokes for others is like having babies for someone else. It's sad. Like the woman who gives up her baby but needs to be close so she secretly becomes the maid in the household.”

Needs Giving Writing Baby Giving Up Jokes Household Maids Having A Baby

Author:Emo Philips

“I grew up in an era when strange adults would grab me on the street and say: 'Don't do that.' You never see that these days. 'Hi, we took the liberty of spanking your son.' Oh thanks, my hand was getting worn.”

Hands Liberty Streets Strange Son Grew Grew Up Adults Thanks Eras These Days Worn Your Son Spanking

Author:Emo Philips

“You know what I hate the most? People that imitate owls.”

People Knows Hate I Hate Owl

Author:Emo Philips

“My parents had very strict rules for me. Rules like, I couldn't be home until a certain hour.”

Home Certain Parent Hours Strict Strict Rules

Author:Emo Philips

“Statehood for the District of Columbia is the most important civil rights and social justice issue in America today.”

Important Today America Social Justice Issues Rights Social Justice Civil Rights Columbia America Today

Author:Jesse Jackson

“When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.”

Two Magic Theory Spells Competing

Author:Emo Philips

“Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo.”

Fun Arms Cost Property Santa Santa Fe

Author:Emo Philips

“For some reason, religious jokes seem as trivial as jokes about food or driving.”

Reason Seems Religious Jokes Driving

Author:Emo Philips

“I caught my wife in bed with my best friend the other day. I was crushed. They could have waited till I'd got out.”

Wife Bed Caught My Wife My Best Friend Crushed

Author:Emo Philips