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Quote by Robert Benchley

“I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.”

Quote by Robert Benchley

Book:My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

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My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

This book offers an introspective look into the author's life during a ten-year period marked by confusion and development. It explores the challenges and transformations faced, providing a candid account of personal growth and self-discovery. more

Author

Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley was an American humorist, writer, and actor, known for his witty humor style and unique satirical techniques. His career spanned theater, film, and radio, and he achieved significant success in the early 20th century. more

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“Infants need the most sleep, and, what is more, get it. Stunning them with a soft, padded hammer is the best way to insure their getting it at the right times.”

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Book:My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

Source: My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

“I never knew anyone yet who got up at six who did anything more useful between that time and breakfast than banging a tennis ballup against the side of the house, waiting for the more civilized members of the party to get up.”

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Book:The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News

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“Consider the number of young people all over the world who are getting married, day in and day out, for no other reason than thatsomeone of the opposite sex looks well in a green jersey or sings baritone, and then tell me that divorce has reached menacing proportions. The surface of divorce has not even been scratched yet.”

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Book:My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

Source: My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

“Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3 P.M., when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks.”

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Book:One Minute, Please

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“A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.”

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Book:Benchley Lost and Found: 39 Prodigal Pieces

Source: Benchley Lost and Found: 39 Prodigal Pieces

“The art of cursing people seems to have lost its tang since the old days when a good malediction took four deep breaths to deliverand sent the outfielders scurrying toward the fence to field.”

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Book:My Ten Years in a Quandary

Source: My Ten Years in a Quandary

“I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.”

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Book:The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News

Source: The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News

“My first big mistake was made when, in a moment of weakness, I consented to learn the game; for a man who can frankly say "I do not play bridge" is allowed to go over in the corner and run the pianola by himself, while the poor neophyte, no matter how much he may protest that he isn't "at all a good player, in fact I'm perfectly rotten," is never believed, but dragged into a game where it is discovered, too late, that he spoke the truth.”

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“Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.”

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Author:Robert Benchley

“There are several natural phenomena which I shall have to have explained to me before I can keep on going as a resident member ofthe human race. One is the metamorphosis which hats and suits undergo exactly one week after their purchase, whereby they are changed from smart, intensely becoming articles of apparel into something children use when they want to "dress up like daddy.”

Source: 20,000 leagues under the sea: or, David Copperfield