“Check out my web site, wtp.org, to see what fast food did to 2 people in England.” PeopleEnglandChecksVegetarianSiteFast Food Author:Jerry Brown
“Whenever she uses the phrase 'I was thinking...,' that means I either have to move, paint or buy something.” ThinkingMeanUseHumorFunnyMovingDatingPaintPhrasesFunny Dating Author:Adam Ferrara
“I pulled the boy close to me and said you see that girl, thats my only lil girl. So if you think about huggin or kissin. Remember these words. I aint afraid to go back to prison.” IfsThinkingSaidHumorFunnyRememberGirlBoysDatingPrisonThat GirlFunny Dating Author:Bill Engvall
“I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, I turn on the light. I used to just go by sonar: just keep peeing 'til you hear water.” KnowsTryingUseHumorLightFunnyUsedNightTurnsWaterNiceMiddleDatingGet UpBathroomTurn-onMiddle Of The NightFunny Dating Author:Adam Ferrara
“There were many reasons we broke up. There was a religious difference: I'm a Catholic, and she's the devil.” ReasonHumorFunnyDifferencesReligiousDevilDatingCatholicBrokeBroke UpFunny DatingReligious Differences Author:Adam Ferrara
“The biggest thing in my life right now is my girlfriend. I love this girl. I know I love her because she told me.” KnowsHumorFunnyGirlRight NowDatingGirlfriendMy GirlfriendMy GirlThis GirlFunny Dating Author:Adam Ferrara
“I sincerely want to meet the girl that was meant for me, but I want to sleep with the girls that weren't.” WantHumorFunnyGirlSleepDatingSincerelyWant To SleepFunny Dating Author:Adam Ferrara
“I remember the first date I ever went out on. It was in high school. Her name was Marguerite. She was kind of a heavyset girl... I took her out on one date. We went out for dinner and a movie and a dinner.” FirstsKindSchoolRememberGirlNamesHigh SchoolDatingDinnerFirst DateFunny DatingDinner And A Movie Author:Kevin Nealon
“It is well for us that we are born babies in intellect. Could we understand half what mothers say and do to their infants, we should be filled with a conceit of our own importance, which would render us insupportable through life.” ShouldWellsMotherBornInspiringHalfBabyImportanceFilledIntellectInfantMothers DayConceit Author:Augustus Hare
“I don't think I'll ever meet the perfect woman. I might have to get me one of them mail order women. You can do that: you send away to the Philippines, and they send you a wife. The only thing is, once you're on their mailing list, they keep sending you a relative a month whether you want it or not.” ThinkingWantHumorMightFunnyOrderCan DoPerfectWifeMonthsDatingListsRelativeMailPhilippinesPerfect WomanMailingFunny Dating Author:Adam Ferrara