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Outer Order, Inner Calm: Declutter & Organize to Make More Room for Happiness

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Gretchen Rubin
Gretchen Rubin

Gretchen Rubin is a renowned American author and psychologist, born in 1966. Her work primarily focuses on personal habits, happiness, and self-improvement. Rubin's book 'The Happiness Project' has gained international acclaim, and through her research and practice, she helps readers explore how to achieve personal happiness. more

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“The key is to do all three steps in order. And repeat as necessary. When you encounter a hurdle, Pause. Give yourself time to Think: What do I control? What are my choices? After you choose your response, Act . . . thoughtfully. Acting without Thinking isn’t good, but Thinking without Acting isn’t much better.”

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“Clients bring their challenges to coaching when they don’t know what to do or when people problems are getting in the way of success. They have conflict with colleagues. They don’t know how to communicate effectively. They become a victim in their own life, paralyzed by seemingly bad choices. They don’t think they have any ability to fix it. They feel like things are out of their control. And that’s all understandable. But you can navigate these problems successfully. I’ve witnessed my clients do it in coaching, and I’ve done it in my own life.”

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“When you learn to ride a bike, ice skate, or downhill ski, the first thing you’re taught is how to stop. It’s an essential skill because if things start heading the wrong direction, you can stop and limit the damage. This same skill is necessary with conversations that have the potential to go off the rails and create lasting damage. When someone blindsides you and says something that triggers you, find the brakes, so you can hit that Pause button. This can be tricky because, by nature, we often aren’t patient communicators. We expect responses right away and feel compelled to offer the same. I’m inviting you to challenge that and request a little time to gather your thoughts. It can happen faster than you think, so I advise my clients to make simple requests that allow them to Pause. Some examples include: • Let me catch my breath here. • Can we find a place to sit down to talk about this? • Give me a moment to close my door. • Let me go to the bathroom/let the dog out/fill my coffee, and then I will give you my undivided attention. The truth is, your brain needs time to overcome some of your initial reactions and access other choices.”

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