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Quote by Craig Ferguson

“Technically my dog's naked most of the time. Except halloween, when I dress him up as Liza Minelli.”

Quote by Craig Ferguson

Author

English biography, 120-180 words more

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“Aphrodisiacs come in many forms: food, drink, the internet.”

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“New iPod. It looks like an iPhone but it can't make phone calls. So its really just an iPhone.”

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“Don't hit women. Never, ever, ever.”

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“Sarah Palin has managed to use her failed vice presidential run to put herself in a position of power and influence. Joe Biden won the race and he hasn't been able to put himself in a position of power and influence.”

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“You know who sang at Rush Limbaugh's wedding? Elton John! According to Rush, gay people can sing at weddings. Just not their own.”

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“It's a great day for Sarah Palin. She was hired as a commentator for Fox News. She signed a multi-year contract, which means she'll probably quit after a year.”

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“Sarah Palin is speaking out about the oil spill. She said, I'm not kidding, we should ask the Dutch for help with the spill because the Dutch have the world's best dikes. So let me get this straight. It is OK to cover lesbians in oil but you just can't let them get married.”

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“There were times when I had great times with my brothers, pillow fights and things, but I used to always cry from loneliness.”

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“Even a chameleon needs the proper amount of suction.”

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“What we do have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the Shawshank Redemption of late night!”

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