“Listening to Benny [Goodman] talk about the clarinet was like listening to a surgeon get hung up on a scalpel.” ListeningHungSurgeonsClarinetGoodmanScalpels Author:Artie Shaw
“I wanted to resign from the planet, not just music. It stopped being fun with success. Money got in the way. Everybody got greedy, including me. Fear set in. I got miserable when I became a commodity.” WayWantedFunPlanetsFameIncludingMiserableCommodityGreedySuccess Money Author:Artie Shaw
“People ask what those women saw in me. Let's face it, I wasn't a bad-looking stud. But that's not it. It's the music; it's standing up there under the lights. A lot of women just flip; looks have nothing to do with it. You call Mick Jagger good-looking?” PeopleLooksLightFunnyFacesAsksSawsStandingLooking GoodFlipJaggerStuds Author:Artie Shaw
“You run into a party and [a] woman comes up to you. She's the most beautiful creature you ever saw - Ava Gardner - and says, "I like you and why don't we get together?" What are you going to say, "No"? You'd have to be an idiot. She was an incredible creature.” RunningTogetherBeautifulWomenPartySawsLike YouCreaturesIncrediblesCome UpIdiotUp To YouGet TogetherI Like YouBeautiful Creatures Author:Artie Shaw
“I have spent my career trying to get Congressmen to spend the people's money as if it were their own. But I have failed.” PeopleIfsTryingCareersCongressman Author:William Proxmire
“You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes.” KnowsNightToo MuchWake UpCirclesCropsDrank Author:Doug Benson
“Rappers should be forced to rhyme in their acceptance speeches.” ShouldAcceptanceSpeechRapperRhymeAcceptance Speech Author:Doug Benson
“A message to parents who think legalizing weed will make their kids want to try it: they will anyway.” ThinkingWantTryingKidsParentMessagesWeed Author:Doug Benson
“The great thing about being up early on a Sunday is nothing.” Great ThingsSundayUp Early Author:Doug Benson
“Marijuana: why forget something tomorrow when you can forget it today?” TodayForgetTomorrowMarijuanaForget It Author:Doug Benson