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Quote by Steven Wright

“I had my coat hangers spayed.”

Quote by Steven Wright

Author

Steven Wright, born on December 6, 1955, is a renowned American comedian. Known for his unique humor style and profound jokes, Wright's performances are typically characterized by dry humor and black comedy, which have won him a dedicated following. more

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“I went camping and borrowed a circus tent by mistake. I didn't notice until I got it set up. People complained because they couldn't see the lake.”

People Humor Funny Mistake Lakes Circus Borrowed Tents Camping

Author:Steven Wright

“It's a fine night to have an evening.”

Humor Funny Night Fine Evening

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“I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.”

Humor Funny Wall Carpet Hardwood

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“Nature cannot be tricked or cheated. She will give up to you the object of your struggles only after you have paid her price.”

Giving Nature Struggle Objects Giving Up Paid Personal Development Cheating Up To You Cheated Pay The Price Life Struggle Think And Grow Rich Think Rich Grow Rich

Book:The Law of Success: The Master Wealth-Builder's Complete and Original Lesson Plan forAchieving Your Dreams

Source: The Law of Success: The Master Wealth-Builder's Complete and Original Lesson Plan forAchieving Your Dreams

“Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.”

Humor Funny Mirrors Snakes Tinsel

Author:Steven Wright

“My grandfather gave me a watch. It doesn't have any hands or numbers. He says it's very accurate. I asked him what time it was. You can guess what he told me.”

Humor Hands Funny Numbers Watches Accurate Grandfather My Grandfather

Author:Steven Wright

“When I was five years old I was on a merry go round. There was a gunshot nearby. The horses stampeded. There I was running down the street on a purple wooden horse.”

Years Humor Running Funny Five Streets Horse Rounds Five Years Purple Merry Five Year Olds Merry Go Round Gunshots

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“I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.”

Trying Humor Funny Night Lines Tired Rounds Passing Passings Bored Infinity All Night Up All Night

Author:Steven Wright

“I don't like the sound of my phone ringing so I put my phone inside my fish tank. I can't hear it, but every time I get a call I see the fish go like this >>><<<<. I go down to the pet store and said, "Give me another ten guppies, I got a lot of calls yesterday."”

Giving Said I Can Humor Funny Sound Ten Give Me Phones Fishes Stores Yesterday Pet Tanks Fish Tanks

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“I was watching the Superbowl with my 92 year old grandfather. The team scored a touchdown. They showed the instant replay. He thought they scored another one. I was gonna tell him, but I figured the game HE was watching was better.”

Years Humor Funny Games Team Instant Grandfather Replay Touchdowns Instant Replay

Author:Steven Wright