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Quote by Stephen Colbert

“Why would we go to war on women? They don't have any oil.”

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Stephen Colbert is an American comedian, writer, television host, and political commentator. He is known for his satirical style on the show 'The Colbert Report' and is recognized for his wit and humor, often offering sharp commentary on political and social issues. more

“I have two last pieces of advice. First, being pre-approved for a credit card does not mean you have to apply for it. And lastly, the best career advice I can give you is to get your own TV show. It pays well, the hours are good, and you are famous. And eventually some very nice people will give you a doctorate in fine arts for doing jack squat.”

“We all know why [the generals] are so critical of the defense secretary. They're being defensive because they weren't able to implement his brilliant plan [on screen: Operation 'Greet Us As Liberators']. It was so simple: Go in with 100,000 troops, topple the regime, everybody loves us, and we leave by Easter 2003. These ex-military men have their right to their opinions, that's fine. They just shouldn't voice them during a war [on screen: 'Loose Lips Sink Approval Ratings']”

“To sit here at the same table with my hero, George W. Bush...I feel like I'm dreaming. Somebody pinch me. You now what, I'm a pretty sound sleeper, that may not be enough...Somebody shoot me in the face.”

Feels May Enough Dream Funny Faces Sound Hero Tables My Hero Sleepers

Author:Stephen Colbert

Quote by Stephen Colbert

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