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Quote by Bill Bailey

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Bill Bailey
Bill Bailey

Bill Bailey is a British comedian born on January 13, 1964. Known for his unique sense of humor and versatile performance skills, he has made a name for himself in various fields including comedy, music, and theater. more

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“The reason we'd stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom. Whoever was charged with making the announcement momentarily lost all sense of procedure and we got this tantalizing glimpse into the chaos on the trains, and all we could hear was (bangs on microphone) "Gary, it's burning, what we gonna do?!" And everyone on the carriage just cheered, "Hooray! We're rubbish!"”

ReasonHumorFunnyLostFireCarTrainChaosBurningGiantsBoredomGlimpseBangsProceduresRubbishMicrophonesBuffetsGaryCarriagesAnnouncementsBiscuitsTantalizing
Author:Bill Bailey
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“You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey, the so-called Samaritan squirrel, which takes pity on the spider, and then the spider jumps on it and injects the paralyzing venom, while the squirrel remains bafflingly philosophical about the whole thing. Not to be confused with the Ukrainian hunting spider, which actually has got a limp and is, as such, completely harmless, and a little bit bitter about the whole thing.”

LittlesWholeHumorFunnyOrderThreeBitsLittle BitPhilosophicalRemainsLegsEightPityBitterConfusedHuntingSpidersPreyConvincingSquirrelsVenomUkrainianSamaritans
Author:Bill Bailey
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