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Quote by Dylan Moran

“You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels.”

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Dylan Moran

Dylan Moran is an Irish comedian known for his unique humor style and witty performances. Born on November 3, 1971, he has been active in the comedy scene since the 1990s. more

“You're talking to a modern, nice, affable German person and they're saying to you something like 'You know, vell, it's a critical time now for Germany within Europe, also globally, economically ve are pretty good, ve have been better. But ve are very vibrant in the theater and arts...' and all the time you'll be listening to this, you're thinking Mmm, yeah, mmm... Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler.”

Thinking Knows Persons Has Beens Art Humor Funny Talking Nice Modern Like You Listening Europe Theater Yeah Critical Germany Affable

Author:Dylan Moran

“Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. 'Aw, isn't that lovely?'”

Men Way Looks Humor Funny Baby Lovely Breasts

Author:Dylan Moran

“When you say 'Bedtime, bedtime, bedtime!' that's not what the child hears. What the child hears is 'Lie down in the dark... for hours... and don't move... I'm locking the door now.'”

Children Humor Funny Moving Lying Hours Dark Doors Bedtime

Author:Dylan Moran

“Now, I meant to talk about something else earlier on, and I've forgotten what it was. I've remembered what it is again, but I've also forgotten. And that's really what adult life is like most of the time.”

Humor Funny Life Is Adults Forgotten Remembered Life Is Like

Author:Dylan Moran

“And yet, people still turn to Jesus. You will notice though that the kind of people who turn to Jesus tend to be the sort of people who haven't done that well with everybody else.”

People Wells Kind Stills Done Humor Funny Turns Jesus Havens

Author:Dylan Moran

“I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.”

Knows Want Persons Humor Funny Indecisive

Author:Dylan Moran

“Fruit... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!"”

Knows Looks Humor Funny Fruit Colour Showing Off

Author:Dylan Moran

“You've a very important, early decision to make in your life: are you going to be alone, or are you going to be with somebody else? Are you going to be sane, or not lonely? A couple is a strange thing; it's an organism that's half as intelligent as the most intelligent member. And you both know who it is!”

Knows Important Humor Funny Decision Half Strange Couple Members Lonely Intelligent Sane Organisms Strange Things

Author:Dylan Moran

“Children are very overprotected now, in lots of ways. We're very nervous about them. You know, people go, "Don't go outside! Or inside! Get into the cupboard with some spinach!" When I was a child they'd kick you out and you weren't expected to come back until there were bats!”

People Knows Way Children Humor Funny Expected Nervous Kicks Bats Cupboards Spinach

Author:Dylan Moran

“You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead!”

Should Humor Funny Alive

Author:Dylan Moran

Quote by Dylan Moran

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