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Quote by Erma Bombeck

“Explain to me how he [her son] can ride a bicycle, run, play ball, set up a camp, swing, fight a war, swim and race for eight hours ... and has to be driven to the garbage can.”

Quote by Erma Bombeck

Author

Erma Bombeck was an American humorist and newspaper columnist renowned for her sharp wit and poignant observations on family life and suburban living. Born on February 21, 1927, she passed away on April 22, 1996. Bombeck's columns were syndicated in over 1,000 newspapers, and her books became bestsellers. more

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“I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going to ... go out of my way to show them I am interested in them and what they do. I am going to understand my children.' These women end up making rag rugs, using blunt scissors.”

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Book:Four of a Kind: A Suburban Field Guide

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“I accepted the face that as much as I want to lead others, and love to be around other people, in some essential way, I am something of a loner.”

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“All my life I've been taught how to die, but no one ever taught me how to grow old.”

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“I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.”

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Book:If Life Is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

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“There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child. ... Time, self-pity, apathy, bitterness, and exhaustion can take the Christmas out of the child, but you cannot take the child out of Christmas.”

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Book:I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

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“I have always felt cookbooks were fiction and the most beautiful words in the English language were 'room service.”

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“Many people are intimidated by doctors. ... People also feel stupid when they don't understand what a doctor's talking about the first time around, so they don't ask again. And let's be honest here, people. English is not a doctor's first language.”

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Author:Erma Bombeck

“Any mother with half a skull knows that when Daddy's little boy becomes Mommy's little boy, the kid is so wet he's treading water.”

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“the ultimate in longevity is the Christmas fruitcake. It is a cake made during the holidays with fruits that make it heavier than the stove it is cooked in.”

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“I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars, be true to more than one political philosophy, and be equally committed to several careers, but he will have only one comfortable chair in his life. I learned it will be an ugly chair. It will match nothing in the entire house. It will never wear out.”

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