“During bomb drills, we students were told to crouch under our desks. Apparently the desks used in classrooms in the fifties were made of an exceptionally missile-resistant variety of wood. During the Cold War years I often wondered why it never occurred to our defense planners to protect the entire nation from nuclear attack by simply covering it, from sea to shining sea, with a huge Strategic Classroom Desk.” YearsMadeWarUsedNationsSeaStudentsHugeColdProtectShiningWoodsDefenseNuclearVarietyBombsClassroomDesksCold WarStrategicCoveringMissilesDrillsPlanners Author:Dave Barry
“Many people have trouble sticking to their resolutions, and there is a simple scientific explanation for this. In 1987, a team of psychologists conducted a study in which they monitored the New Year's resolutions of 275 people. After one week the psychologists found that 92 percent of the people were keeping their resolutions; after two weeks we have no idea what happened because the psychologists had quit monitoring.” PeopleYearsTwoIdeasFoundSimpleStudyHappenedTroubleWeekTeamPercentQuittingNo IdeaExplanationResolutionNew YearTwo WeeksPsychologistNew Year's ResolutionsMonitoring Author:Dave Barry
“Now, once again, we find ourselves facing rising gas prices, and the question is: This time, are we going to learn from the past? Are we finally going to get serious about energy conservation? Of course not! We have the brains of mealworms! So we need to get more oil somehow. As far as I can figure, there's only one practical way to do this. That's right: We need to clone more dinosaurs. We have the technology, as was shown in two blockbuster scientific movies, Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park Returns with Exactly the Same Plot. Once we have the dinosaurs, all we need is an asteroid.” WayNeedsI CanTwoPastCoursesEnergyBrainTechnologyFiguresSeriousReturnOilPracticalsParksRisingGasPlotConservationDinosaursAsteroidsBlockbusterLearn From The PastGas PricesJurassic ParkEnergy Conservation Author:Dave Barry
“There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.” PeopleShouldBigsAgeDealsExpectingBig DealThere Comes A TimeBirthdays And Aging Author:Dave Barry
“The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.” NumbersHelicoptersBadness Book:Dave Barry Turns 50 Source: Dave Barry Turns 50
“Trade barriers constitute isolation; isolation gives rise to hatred, hatred to war, and war to invasion.” GivingWarHatredTradeIsolationBarriersInvasion Author:Frederic Bastiat
“I grew up on 'Lawrence' and 'Zhivago'. A legacy with not one but multiple timeless classics.” GrewGrew UpLegacyMultipleTimeless Author:Josh Gad
