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Quote by Craig Ferguson

“They've found a link between chemicals in shampoo and obesity. If you're eating shampoo, your weight is the least of your concerns.”

Quote by Craig Ferguson

Author

English biography, 120-180 words more

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“Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving.”

Writing Law Letters Driving California Preventing Texting

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“I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you.”

Kids Email Hooked

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“According to a new study, our email is not as safe as we thought. How do they know this? They've been reading my email.”

Knows Reading Study Safe Email

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“I don't know much about the Supreme Court. If it's anything like the Supreme Taco, it's like a regular court, but with extra sour cream.”

Ifs Knows Court Supreme Extras Cream Supreme Court Sour Tacos

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“The difference between a broadcaster and a host is that a host tells stories and dumb jokes, but a broadcaster can articulate deeper like, you know - things and stuff.”

Knows Stories Stuff Differences Like You Jokes Deeper Dumb Host Broadcasters

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“In Los Angeles on Black Friday, a woman pepper sprayed Wal-Mart shoppers who tried to cut in line. The police acted fast by immediately hiring her to get rid of peaceful protesters outside banking institutions all across the United States.”

States Black Lines United United States Cutting Police Institutions Peaceful Los Angeles Friday Banking Hiring Peppers Shoppers Black Friday

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“From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.”

Ends America Streets Wall Criminals Alcatraz

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“And always the animals from each trip you bring back a gaze a pose a gesture that points to the truest of humanity better than images of humanity itself”

Humanity Animal Gestures Truest

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“We feel more emotion... before an amateur photograph linked to our own life history than before the work of a Great Photographer, because his domain partakes of art, and the intent of the souvenir-object remains at the lower level of personal history.”

Feels Art Levels Emotion Objects Remains Photographer Photograph Linked Domain Souvenirs Personal History

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“An object dies when the gaze that lights on it has disappeared.”

Light Dies Objects

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