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Shoppers Quotes

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Shoppers Quotes

“... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them. Holiday shoppers have been whipped into a frenzy by months of holiday advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a shopping bag. If your children object to being tied, threaten to take them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up.”

IfsShouldTryingChildrenHas BeensEnoughStuffObjectsMonthsOughtHumorousOur ChildrenYour ChildrenTiesHolidayBagsShoppingTiedRopeSantaMallsAdvertisementsSanta ClausFrenzyShoppers
Author:Dave Barry
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“I am always behind the shopper at the grocery store who has stitched her coupons in the lining of her coat and wants to talk about a 'strong' chicken she bought two weeks ago. The register tape also runs out just before her sub-total. In the public restroom, I always stand behind the teen-ager who is changing into her band uniform for a parade and doesn't emerge until she has combed the tassels on her boots, shaved her legs, and recovered her contact lens from the commode.”

WantTwoRunningStrongWaitingBehindsWeekBandLegsStoresContactChickensBootsTapeUniformsCoatsLensesImpatienceTwo WeeksGroceriesRegisterParadesGrocery StoresShoppersRestroomContact LensesTassels
Book:I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression
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“My relationship with brick-and-mortar shopping is, in general, unpleasant. I can't remember a time in my life when I could go to a physical store and find a variety of things in my size that excited me and fit my personal style. As a plus-size shopper at a typical mall, you're limited to at most five stores out of maybe 50 clothing retailers. That leaves us with very few options and, for people on a tight budget, pretty much no chance of comparison shopping. You take what you can get.”

PeopleI CanRememberChanceFiveStyleFitSizeExcitedStoresVarietyBudgetsComparisonPlusShoppingClothingsTypicalBricksMallsPersonal StyleMortarRetailersShoppersPlus SizeBricks And Mortar
Author:Lindy West
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“Black Friday, in reality, is a symptom of the plight that 30 years of Reaganomics has brought to working people in America. Right along with the frenzied rise of shoppers willing to fight each other at retail outlets across America, we've been steadily, for the last 30 years, watching the destruction of organized labor ... of decent pay and wages and conditions for working people. ... We have Black Friday today because the wealthy elite have strangled their workers for 32 years, ever since Ronald Reagan's election.”

PeopleYearsRealityTodayLastsAmericaFightingBlackPayConditionsWillingLaborDestructionElectionWorkersOrganizedDecentWealthyElitesWagesSymptomsFridayOutletsRetailPlightShoppersOrganized LaborBlack FridayReaganomics
Author:Thom Hartmann
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“Credit or debit cards, for starters, are nothing short of shoppers' Novocain. Even in the age of digital purchases and virtual money, we still attach a special value to dirty paper with pictures of presidents on it. Handing some of that to a cashier simply hurts more than handing over a little sliver of plastic.”

LittlesStillsAgeValuesPresidentHurtSpecialPaperCreditCardsDirtyDigitalPlasticStartersShoppersHanding OverCashiersDebitDebit Cards
Author:Jeffrey Kluger
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“There was something stubborn in me that didn't want to lose weight to attract a man. If the right man came along, he'd be able to see my virtues magically. Once he kissed me, the frog would turn into a prince. I had become a trick question, a heavy disguise, but behind the disobliging exterior was the welcoming child I would always be. Of course, what I'd forgotten was that he was not Parsifal and I was not the Grail; the medievalism of my imagination was not sufficiently up-to-date to recognize that the lover was a shopper and I a product.”

IfsMenWantChildrenAbleTurnsCoursesLosesImaginationBehindsVirtueProductsLoversWeightForgottenHeavyTricksWelcomeDisguiseStubbornMy ImaginationFrogsExteriorLose WeightUp To DateRight ManShoppers
Author:Edmund White
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“Governments are deemed to succeed or fail by how well they make money go round, regardless of whether it serves any useful purpose. They regard it as a sacred duty to encourage the country’s most revolting spectacle: the annual feeding frenzy in which shoppers queue all night, then stampede into the shops, elbow, trample and sometimes fight to be the first to carry off some designer junk which will go into landfill before the sales next year. The madder the orgy, the greater the triumph of economic management.”

YearsFirstsWellsCountrySometimesGovernmentPurposeNightFightingNextGreaterFailingEconomicDutySucceedRegardManagementSacredRoundsMaking MoneyTriumphDesignerShopsFeedingAll NightNext YearJunkAnnualsElbowsFrenzyQueuesShoppersLandfillsStampede
Author:George Monbiot
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“I walked inside Macy’s and faced the pathetic spectacle of a department store full of shoppers, none of whom were shopping for themselves. Without the instant gratification of a self-aimed purchase, everyone walked around in the tactical stupor of the financially obligated.”

SelfStoresChristmasInstantDepartmentShoppingPatheticGratificationTacticalInstant GratificationDepartment StoresShoppersMacy's
Book:Dash & Lily's Book of Dares
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“I figured being a bed salesman was a job of biblically bad paradox. I mean, here he was, forced to stand for eight or nine hours a day, and the whole time he’s surrounded by beds. And not only that, he’s surrounded by shoppers who see the beds and can’t help but think, Man, I’d love to lie down on that bed for a second. So not only does he have to stop himself from lying down, but he has to stop everyone else from doing it, too. I knew if I were him, I would be desperate for human company.”

IfsThinkingMenHumansMeanDoeWholeHelpingWould BeJobsLyingHoursCompanyBedEightNineDesperateParadoxSalesmanLying DownShoppers
Author:Rachel Cohn
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“Being a lifetime wife and mother has afforded me the luxury of having multiple careers: I've been a teacher. A chauffeur. A chef. An interior decorator. A landscape architect, as well as a gardener. I’ve been a painter. A personal shopper. An accountant and a banker. I’ve been a beautician. Santa Claus. The Tooth Fairy. A movie reviewer. A nurse. A psychologist. A negotiator. An I have a Ph. D in How to Pretend Like You Don’t Mind.”

MindWellsMotherCareersTeacherWifeLike YouLifetimeTeethPainterLuxuryLandscapeFairyArchitectNurseMultipleChefInteriorsSantaBankersGardenerPsychologistSanta ClausAccountantsReviewersTooth FairyWives And MothersShoppersDecoratorsChauffeursBeauticians
Author:Terry McMillan
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“Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.”

MenTryingYearsSpiritThreeStarsSpaceWiseWeekSpecialCenturyYears AgoTraditionMy FamilySeasonsDrivingChristmasHolidayLoved OnesMallsParkingChristmas SpiritInspirational ChristmasParking LotChristmas EveFunny ChristmasChristmas ThoughtsHoliday SeasonChristmas TimeFunny Christmas CardShoppersParking SpaceSpecial TimesOld TraditionsThree Wise Men
Book:Dave Barry's Greatest Hits
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“You may have heard of Black Friday and Cyber Monday. There's another day you might want to know about: Giving Tuesday. The idea is pretty straightforward. On the Tuesday after Thanksgiving, shoppers take a break from their gift-buying and donate what they can to charity.”

KnowsWantGivingMayIdeasMightBlackBreakHeardCharityBuyingThanksgivingMondayFridayStraightforwardTuesdayAnother DayCyberThanksgiving DayThanksgiving And GratitudeDonateThanksgiving ThanksThanksgiving GratitudeShoppersFunny Happy ThanksgivingNice ThanksgivingHappy Thanksgiving PoemsBlack FridayDay After ThanksgivingThanksgiving Grateful
Author:Bill Gates
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