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Quote by Bill Bailey

“This shed does not contain me.”

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Bill Bailey is a British comedian born on January 13, 1964. Known for his unique sense of humor and versatile performance skills, he has made a name for himself in various fields including comedy, music, and theater. more

“When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!"”

Want Children Humor Funny Faces Father Sound Yeah Angry Idiot Foul Filth

Author:Bill Cosby

“My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children.”

Children Humor Funny Beautiful Wife My Wife Beautiful Women

Author:Bill Cosby

“My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to LOOK at it.”

Want Looks Humor Funny Mother Hours Rooms Five Mess Want Me Pigs He Wants Me

Author:Bill Cosby

“"And tired" always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick..." And I said, "And tired." I don't remember anything after that.”

Said Humor Funny Remember Mother Worst Sick Tired

Author:Bill Cosby

“My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals.”

Humor Funny Father Animal Blame Gas Imaginary

Author:Bill Cosby

“Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?"”

Said Humor Funny Fall Fun Having Fun Chairs They Said Paranoid Getting High

Author:Bill Cosby

Quote by Bill Bailey

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