“This...feels particularly important in the age of social media, where we can make our pain viral before we even had a chance to feel it.”
Source: Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement
“People mess up. We lie, exaggerate, betray, hurt, and abandon each other. When we hear that this has happened, it makes sense to feel anger, pain, confusion, and sadness. But to move immediately to punishment means that we stay on the surface of what has happened.
To transform the conditions of the "wrongdoing", we have to ask ourselves and each other, "Why?"
Even--especially--when we are scared of the answer.
It's easy to decide a person or group is shady, evil, psychopathic. The hard truth (hard because there's no quick fix) is that long-term injustice creates most evil behavior. The percentage of psychopaths in the world is just not high enough to justify the ease with which we assign that condition to others.
In my mediations, "why?" is often the game-changing, possibility-opening question. That's because the answers rehumanize those we feel are perpetuating against us. "Why?" often leads us to grief, abuse, trauma, mental illness, difference, socialization, childhood, scarcity, loneliness.
Also, "Why?" makes it impossible to ignore that we might be capable of a similar transgression in similar circumstances.
We don't want to see that.”
“Is this what we're here for? To cultivate a fear-based adherence to reductive common values?
What can this lead to in an imperfect world full of sloppy, complex humans? Is it possible we will call each other out until there's no one left beside us?
I've had tons of conversations with people who, in these moments of public flaying, avoid stepping up on the side of complexity or curiosity because in the back of our minds is the shared unspoken question: When will y'all come for me?”
Source: Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement
“For many of us, our survivorhood and our neurodivergence are pretty damn intertwined. As disabled TJ workers, we know what it's like to inhabit secret bodymind stories that many turn away from, as "too much", and that knowledge helps us in our TJ work - people trust us with their survivor stories because they can tell we've seen some shit.”
Source: Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement
“Most people doing transformative justice work didn't get into it because we thought it would be a random, fun thing to do. We do it because we're survivors, or the people closest to us are. We care about survivors; we know what it's like to survive brutal shit, often alone. We want to change the world so this stuff never happens again.”
Source: Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement
“This home had more red flags than a Chinese military parade.”
Source: Scars in Time: A Novel
“To this day, I cannot for the life of me understand why they questioned me in front of her. My mother had intimidated me since I was a toddler. I was absolutely terrified. Of course I lied, and I made sure to lie well.”
Source: Uncensored
“When we define ourselves, the result is complexity. We are none of us one thing, neither good nor bad. We are complex surviving organisms. We do appalling things to each other, rooted in trauma. We survive, we learn.”
Source: Beyond Survival: Strategies and Stories from the Transformative Justice Movement
“Out with the toxic, in with the terrific! Delete toxic thoughts forever, no archive—let go of those energy vampires and soul-sucking leeches. Life's too short to waste on negativity and drama. Surround yourself with the sunshine of positive vibes and the laughter of genuine connections. It's a digital detox for the soul, clearing out the clutter and making room for the good stuff. So long, toxic thoughts—here's to a brighter, happier, and healthier you!”
“Through mirror neurons and resonance circuitry, we are taking in each other's bodily state, feelings and intention in each emerging moment (Iacoboni, 2009).
This gives us an approximate empathic sense of what is happening in the other person, but it is important to be aware that the information is also being filtered through our implicit lens.
This filtering colors our perceptions and pretty much guarantees there will be ruptures that invite repairs, as our offers of empathy will sometimes not reflect what the other person is experiencing.”
Source: The Heart of Trauma: Healing the Embodied Brain in the Context of Relationships