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Quote by Jon Stewart

“Attorney General John Ashcroft bid farewell to the Justice Department with a goodbye address. The voluntary resignation came as a bit of a disappointment to the attorney general, who had hoped to be raptured out of office.”

Quote by Jon Stewart

Author

Jon Stewart, born on November 28, 1962, is an American satirist, comedian, writer, and television host. He is best known for his work on 'The Daily Show', where he used satire and humor to deeply analyze American politics and social issues. more

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“Prosperity is full of friends.”

Literature Prosperity

Book:Euripides: Hecuba, translated by W. Arrowsmith. Andromache, translated by J. F. Nims. The Trojan women, translated by R. Lattimore. Ion, translated by R. F. Willetts

Source: Euripides: Hecuba, translated by W. Arrowsmith. Andromache, translated by J. F. Nims. The Trojan women, translated by R. Lattimore. Ion, translated by R. F. Willetts

“Please explain to me why John Kerry sounds more dickish telling the truth than Bush sounds when he's lying. How is that possible?”

Lying Sound Please Telling The Truth John Kerry

Author:Jon Stewart

“The White House released documents it claims validates the president's (National Guard) service ... When deciphered the documents showed that in a one-year period, 1972 and 1973, Bush received credit for nine days of active National Guard service. The traditional term of service then and now for the National Guard is one weekend a month and two full weeks a year, meaning that Bush's nine-day stint qualifies him only for the National Guard's National Guard. That's the National Guard's National Guard, an Army of None.”

Years Two House President Term White Week Months Periods Claims Army Credit Active Nine Traditional White House Weekend Documents National Guard

Author:Jon Stewart

“Spain's new Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero announced he will soon call back Spain's 1300 troops from Iraq - meaning the coalition of the willing is fast turning into a duet of the stubborn.”

Willing Iraq Ministers Prime Troops Stubborn Prime Minister Spain Coalitions Duets

Author:Jon Stewart

“Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge made that critical leap from 'be afraid' to 'be very afraid,' raising the terrorist threat level to orange for financial sectors in New York, Washington, D.C., and northern New Jersey. ... Ridge's announcement comes amidst reports he will step down as head of homeland security after the election. Ridge himself has refused to comment on the story, though colleagues say he has often expressed a desire to spend more time at home, scaring his family.”

“Some would argue that the president himself benefited from a form of affirmative action because as a C student, he only got into Yale because his father was a wealthy alumnus. But the White House counters that Saddam is a menace and must be stopped.”

Action Form Father House President White Students Arguing Wealthy White House Saddam Menace Affirmative Action Yale Affirmative Alumni

Author:Jon Stewart

“Scores of Iraqi exiles met in London to discuss ways to overthrow Saddam Hussein in a grand gathering dubbed the 'Iraqi Military Alliance Meeting.' Of course, these people are no longer Iraqi, they have no military, and there is no alliance. But they did have a meeting.”

People Way Courses Military Mets Meetings London Score Saddam Gathering Exile Hussein Alliances

Author:Jon Stewart

“With the situation in Iraq growing ever more dangerous, the 34-member Coalition of The Willing are, one by one, dropping out to join the other coalition known as Most of The Rest of The World.”

World Situation Known Growing Dangerous Willing Members Iraq Dropping Coalitions Dropping Out

Author:Jon Stewart

“In Iraq, the U.S. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing Saddam Hussein may have finally paid off. The bombs destroyed the area and left behind a 60-foot crater, or as coalition forces prefer to call it: a freedom hole.”

May Left Force Behinds Feet Military Approach Areas Paid Killing Iraq Holes Destroyed Bombs Saddam Hussein Left Behind Coalitions Moles Paid Off Craters

Author:Jon Stewart

“Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people are left with only open nagging questions: what kind of freak has 1,000 pages of medical records?”

People Years Kind Left Records Five Pages Medical Release Five Years Camps Freak Senators Mccain Vietnamese Nagging Pow Medical Records

Author:Jon Stewart