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Quote by Bob Hope

“English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie. . . in the shower.”

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Bob Hope, an American legendary comedian, was born on May 29, 1903, and passed away on July 27, 2003. Known for his humorous and entertaining performances, he achieved great success in various fields of entertainment. more

“Here was my first lesson on the resolutely maintained untidiness and ill-health of the English upper orders. In baggy evening dress and old before their time, they displayed gapped and tangled teeth in loosely open mouths. Gently shedding dandruff, they lurched across the lawn. When they stood at the bar they looked like Lee Trevino Putting.”

Firsts Funny Order Lessons Mouths Humorous England Dresses Ill Bars Teeth Evening Lawns Tangled Ill Health

Book:The Complete Unreliable Memoirs

Source: The Complete Unreliable Memoirs

“Dinner was meat - not hunks of meat, as in Australia, but pathetic scraps of meat, as in Britain - which the girls upstairs transformed into edible dishes by heating it in secret ways and adding bits of stuff to it.”

Way Funny Girl Stuff Bits Secret Humorous England Dinner Meat Britain Australia Transformed Dishes Pathetic Scrap Upstairs Heating Hunk

Book:The Complete Unreliable Memoirs

Source: The Complete Unreliable Memoirs

“In London there was no home cooking worthy of the name. When you were in funds you ate out. But only the people whose faces appeared in such publications as Town and Queen could afford to eat in restaurants serving food which would leave them looking and feeling better instead of worse.”

People Feelings Home Funny Faces Names Humorous England Towns Cooking Worthy London Queens Restaurants Fund Serving Feel Better Publication Home Cooking

Book:Always Unreliable: Memoirs

Source: Always Unreliable: Memoirs

“In recent years, perhaps encouraged by competition from McDonald's, the British hamburger has become a credit to the nation. At the time of which I speak, it looked like a scorched beer-coaster or a tenderized disc brake.”

Years Funny Speak Nations Humorous England Competition Credit British Beer Mcdonalds Hamburgers Coasters Brake Discs

Book:Always Unreliable: Memoirs

Source: Always Unreliable: Memoirs

“England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English.”

People Country Funny Speak Humorous England Foreign Countries Very Popular

Book:Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

Source: Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need

“England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.”

World Wells School Funny Humorous High School England Juniors Airline Junior High Cafeteria High School Junior School Cafeteria Airline Food

Author:Dave Barry

“They have a lot of trouble with pronunciation, because they can't move their jaw muscles, because of malnutrition caused by wisely refusing to eat English food, much of which was designed and manufactured in medieval times during the reign of King Walter the Mildly Disturbed.”

Funny Moving Trouble Kings Humorous England Muscles Reign Medieval Disturbed Malnutrition Pronunciation Medieval Times

Book:The World According to Dave Barry

Source: The World According to Dave Barry

“English history consists largely of royal people getting their heads chopped off...Needless to say, this brand of history was a hit with our son.”

People Funny Son Humorous England Brands Royal English History

Author:Dave Barry

“There is a feeling which persists in England that making a sandwich interesting, attractive, or in any way pleasant to eat is something sinful that only foreigners do.”

Way Feelings Funny Interesting Humorous England Attractive Pleasant Persist Sandwiches Foreigners

Book:So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

Source: So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

“The English have no soul; they have the understatement instead.”

Soul Funny Humorous England Understatement

Book:How to be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils

Source: How to be an Alien: A Handbook for Beginners and Advanced Pupils

Quote by Bob Hope

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