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Quote by Eugene Mirman

“Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.”

Quote by Eugene Mirman

Author

Eugene Mirman is an American comedian known for his unique and witty style of humor. Born on July 24, 1974, he has been active in the comedy scene since the early 2000s. Mirman is recognized for his performances in comedy clubs and television shows, including roles on Comedy Central's 'The Problem with Apu' and 'The Sarah Silverman Program'. His comedy works are celebrated for their satirical take on social phenomena and profound insights into everyday life. more

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“I'm fascinated by the logic that leads to something.”

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“It's weird - the cab driver is playing very loud dance music and yet it doesn't really feel like a party.”

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“Try not to wake up on fire.”

Trying Fire Wake Up

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“When years from now people look back on today, they will think the same thing they already do but with more reasons for it.”

People Thinking Years Looks Reason Today

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“There was one woman who had a giant sign and on it, it just said, 'America Is Better Than Abortion.' I think she meant that America was too good a place for the horror of abortion. But instead, it sounded like she had weighed both - the American spirit and getting an abortion and decided that American spirit better. I think it is a bad idea to have grammatically ambiguous protest signs.”

Thinking Said Ideas America Spirit Horror Decided Giants Abortion Protest One Woman Bad Ideas Ambiguous American Spirit

Author:Eugene Mirman

“One of the best things I found out about Detroit is that bears have started returning to the city. When bears are gentrifying your neighborhood and opening Thai restaurants, that's a poor neighborhood.”

Found Poor Cities Bears Opening Best Things Restaurants Neighborhood Detroit Thai Poor Neighborhoods

Author:Eugene Mirman

“I remember the first time I had sex. I wore a cape and goggles... because I didn't know.”

Knows Firsts Remember Sex First Time Capes Goggles

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“A lot of the things I do are the sort of things I think are funny.”

Author:Eugene Mirman

“I laugh at weird times - at good and bad things alike. I laugh simply when things are incongruous. It's not necessarily a judgment - as it is noticing the oddity of something.”

Laughing Judgment Bad Things Good And Bad Noticing Oddities

Author:Eugene Mirman

“Everyone knows that Jews control the media and banks and stuff. But did you know that when you go to a carnival and you have to be a certain height to go on a ride, Jews control that height? It has nothing to do with safety. It's just us flexing our Semitic muscles.”

Knows Certain Stuff Media Goes On Safety Jew Height Muscles Did You Know Carnivals Flexing

Author:Eugene Mirman