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The Candy Machine: How Cocaine Took Over the World

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Tom Feiling

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“f a group of guys are hanging around and one guy is doing coke, he’ll say, ‘Take a hit. You’ll feel like a new man.’ He’s right; the problem is that once you feel like a new man, that new man wants a hit so he can feel like a new man. And that goes on and on until the coke runs out, and you’re broke.”

“Ah, now I see. It was in the center of the dorayaki! Right there underneath the insignia... she added apple confiture to the filling!" Confiture! What the heck is that?! "Confiture is the French word for jams and marmalades. It seems she's made her own special apple jam blended with a hint of ginger! The tart juiciness and fruity richness of the jam melds seamlessly with the ginger's flavor. When tasted together with the apple chunks and dorayaki crust, it jumps out at you in a brilliant flash of deliciousness!”

“Off the hob, the orange jam is left to settle for a few minutes, then stirred and ladled into glass jars. Four pots of glistening amber, the curls of peel suspended like jewels in the deep-orange jelly. The kitchen is still cold, and with the scent of oranges and syrup in the air I feel the urge to make a rack of toast. Marmalade is always a pot of joy. Button-bright, glistening and quivering on a spoon, it has none of the cloying sweetness of honey, a clarion call to the start of the day. Whisper it: this thick orange jam does not feel quite right at any other time of day. It glows like a candle on the greyest January morning, cheering us out of the door to work. No preserve causes such controversy, thick-cut or hair-thin, dark or pale, softly set or firm. Mine will be barely set, light in color and as much golden jelly as peel. Any morning now, the garden white with frost, I will pick up one of the jars I have filled today, twist off the glossy black lid and inhale. I will dip in my spoon, spread the lumpy jam onto a piece of hot toast, wipe a bittersweet tear of syrup from the crust and start my day.”

“I care a lot about people, and I believe in being my brothers keeper and caring for those in need. And while I think some inequality is necessary and good, poverty is not. I envision a world where we all are prospering and succeeding in life, though in different ways and to varying degrees. Capitalism is the way.”

“There are, it seems, two muses: the Muse of Inspiration, who gives us inarticulate visions and desires, and the Muse of Realization, who returns again and again to say "It is yet more difficult than you thought." This is the muse of form. It may be then that form serves us best when it works as an obstruction, to baffle us and deflect our intended course. It may be that when we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey. The mind that is not baffled is not employed. The impeded stream is the one that sings.”