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Quote by Robert Benchley

“If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.”

Quote by Robert Benchley

Book:Benchley beside himself

Work

Benchley beside himself

This book is a satirical take on the everyday misadventures of Benchley, a character whose life is filled with unexpected twists and turns. The narrative is filled with wit and humor, offering readers a light-hearted look at the absurdities of life. more

Author

Robert Benchley

Robert Benchley was an American humorist, writer, and actor, known for his witty humor style and unique satirical techniques. His career spanned theater, film, and radio, and he achieved significant success in the early 20th century. more

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“Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.”

Firsts Reason Today Given Half Written Letters Statements Reason Why Devoted Imperatives Paragraph Correspondence Small Talk

Book:Benchley beside himself

Source: Benchley beside himself

“I have often wondered how they manage to get return envelopes which miss, by one-quarter of an inch, fitting the blank you are supposed to return. They say, "Please fill out and return the enclosed envelope," and the enclosed envelope is always one-quarter of an inch too small.”

Missing Return Please Manage Quarters Inches Blank Fitting Envelopes

Author:Robert Benchley

“There is probably not more than one hundred dollars in cash in circulation today. That is, if you were to call in all the bills and silver and gold in the country at noon tomorrow and pile them on the table, you would find that you had just about one hundred dollars, with perhaps several Canadian pennies and a few peppermint Life Savers.”

Ifs Country Today Money Tomorrow Hundred Gold Tables Bills Dollars Finance Silver Cash Pennies Noon Circulation Peppermint

Book:Love Conquers All

Source: Love Conquers All

“One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.”

Way Self Left Natural Travel Planning Former Shells Packs Twisted Tubes Toothpaste Natural Phenomena

Book:20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Or, David Cooperfield

Source: 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Or, David Cooperfield

“It is one of the most discouraging experiences I have ever had, not forgetting the time when I winked at the Queen Mother in London once.”

Mother Forget London Queens Royalty Discouraging

Book:The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News

Source: The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News

“What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.”

People Way Has Beens Done Character Shows Left Conditions Dangerous Human Nature Fit Paper News Flying Sunday Show Me Kites Antisocial

Book:No Poems

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“In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.”

Needs Use Would Be Beautiful Fronts Tools Track Tendencies Soil Halls Beautiful Things Dirt Preparing Stairs Dynamite

Book:Of All Things

Source: Of All Things

“I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.”

Way Giving Two Willing Eating Thirds Defeat Monkeys Bananas

Book:My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

Source: My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

“Infants need the most sleep, and, what is more, get it. Stunning them with a soft, padded hammer is the best way to insure their getting it at the right times.”

Way Needs Sleep Best Way Right Time Infant Hammers Stunning

Book:My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew

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“I never knew anyone yet who got up at six who did anything more useful between that time and breakfast than banging a tennis ballup against the side of the house, waiting for the more civilized members of the party to get up.”

House Waiting Sides Sleep Party Members Six Get Up Tennis Civilized Breakfast Banging

Book:The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News

Source: The Athletic Benchley: 105 Exercises from the Detroit Athletic Club News