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Toothpaste Quotes

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Toothpaste Quotes

“The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was an absolute lunatic, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.”

HumorMusicSocietyDancingDanceLunaticDentistToothpaste
Book:There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
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“How could poetry and literature have arisen from something as plebian as the cuneiform equivalent of grocery-store bar codes? I prefer the version in which Prometheus brought writing to man from the gods. But then I remind myself that...we should not be too fastidious about where great ideas come from. Ultimately, they all come from a wrinkled organ that at its healthiest has the color and consistency of toothpaste, and in the end only withers and dies.”

MenShouldWritingIdeasEndsDiesLiteratureColorStoresBarsVersionsCodeOrgansConsistencyGroceriesGreat IdeaGrocery StoresToothpastePrometheusFastidiousCuneiform
Author:Alice Weaver Flaherty
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“So while you're getting ripped apart head to toe as you fall into a black hole, you will also extrude through the fabric of space and time, like toothpaste squeezed through a tube. To all the words in the English language that describe ways to die (e.g., homicide, suicide, electrocution, suffocation, starvation) we add the term spaghettification.”

WayScienceDiesFallLanguageBlackTermSpaceSuicideAddHolesFabricToesTime And SpaceEnglish LanguageStarvationTubesRippedBlack HoleHomicideToothpaste
Author:Neil deGrasse Tyson
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“One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.”

WaySelfLeftNaturalTravelPlanningFormerShellsPacksTwistedTubesToothpasteNatural Phenomena
Book:20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Or, David Cooperfield
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“There are some forty-five thousand items in the average American supermarket and more than a quarter of them now contain corn. This goes for the nonfood items as well: Everything from the toothpaste and cosmetics to the disposable diapers, trash bags, cleansers, charcoal briquettes, matches, and batteries, right down to the shine on the cover of the magazine that catches your eye by the checkout: corn.”

WellsEyeFiveThousandShiningAverageMagazinesBagsFortyQuartersItemsTrashCornCosmeticsBatteriesSupermarketsDiapersDisposableShine OnToothpasteCharcoalCheckouts
Book:The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals
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“If you visit American city, You will find it very pretty. Just two things of which you must beware: Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air. Pollution, pollution, They got smog and sewage and mud. Turn on your tap and get hot and cold running crud. See the halibuts and the sturgeons Being wiped out by detergents. Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly, But they don't last long if they try. Pollution, pollution, You can use the latest toothpaste, And then rinse your mouth with industrial waste.”

IfsTryingLongTwoUseRunningLastsTurnsWaterCitiesAirColdDrinkWasteBirdMouthsHotEnvironmentalFishesBreatheTwo ThingsSwimPollutionMudTurn-onAmerican CitiesToothpasteAir PollutionSmogSewageHot And ColdHalibut
Author:Tom Lehrer
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“If there is any one skill that every professional must learn, it is how to brand himself or herself in the marketplace. A brand provides certainty to customers and lets them know that what they`re getting is the best. People don`t like to make decisions. Once we decide, for example, the kind of toothpaste we prefer, rarely do we change. We have to make so many decisions every day in our lives that most of us are overwhelmed.”

PeopleIfsKnowsKindDecisionOur LivesExampleSkillsCustomersCertaintyBrandsOverwhelmedMarketplaceToothpaste
Author:Tony Robbins
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“The illusion that mechanical progress means human improvement ... alienates us from our own being and our own reality. It is precisely because we are convinced that our life, as such, is better if we have a better car, a better TV set, better toothpaste, etc., that we condemn and destroy our own reality and the reality of our natural resources. Technology was made for man, not man for technology. In losing touch with being and thus with God, we have fallen into a senseless idolatry of production and consumption for their own sakes.”

IfsMenHumansMeanMadeRealityNaturalTechnologyOur LivesProgressCarTvsLosingIllusionResourcesSakeProductionsConvincedImprovementFallenEtcConsumptionConsumerismIdolatryNatural ResourcesOverconsumptionToothpaste
Book:Seeds
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“One never knows enough about characters in real life to put them into novels. One gets started and then, suddenly, one can not remember what toothpaste they use; what are their views on interior decoration, and one is stuck utterly. No, major characters emerge; minor ones may be photographed.”

KnowsWritingMayRealEnoughCharacterUseRememberViewsNovelMajorsStuckReal LifeMinorsCan NotInteriorsDecorationToothpaste
Book:Conversations with Graham Greene
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“How do these celebrities stay so impossibly thin? Simple: They have full-time personal trainers, who advise them on nutrition, give them pep talks, and shoot them with tranquilizer darts whenever they try to crawl, on hunger-weakened limbs, toward the packet of rice cakes that constitutes the entire food supply in their 37,000-square-foot mansions. For most celebrities, the biggest meal of the day is toothpaste (they use reduced-fat Crest).”

GivingTryingUseSimpleFeetHungerFatsMealsCakeSquaresNutritionLimbsAdviseRiceTrainersMansionsToothpasteDartsFood SupplyPepPep TalkRice Cakes
Author:Dave Barry
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“There is a false moral imperative that seems to be all-around us that treatment of depression, the medications and so on, are an artifice, and that it's not natural. And I think that's very misguided. It would be natural for people's teeth to fall out, but there is nobody militating against toothpaste, at least not in my circles.”

PeopleThinkingSeemsWould BeFallNaturalMoralCirclesTeethTreatmentImperativesMedicationMisguidedArtificeToothpaste
Author:Andrew Solomon
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“Great soul of Gandhi, cover your ears. You will not want to hear this! Listen, you inbred piece of Ku Klux Krap! You white people love to be racist, but the only races you can tell apart are Indianapolis and Daytona. I hope I am reincarnated as toothpaste, so I never have to see you again. Now take your twelve-pack of wife-beating juice and get the park out of my store!”

PeopleWantSoulWhiteRacePiecesWifeEarsStoresParksRacistOver YouTwelvePacksJuiceYou AgainGreat SoulsToothpasteIndianapolisInbredsDaytonaWife Beating
Author:Carlos Mencia
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“I prefer formal techniques, and use sonnets and rhyme, any manner of scheme to give a shape and order-of feeling as well as argument-to a poem. But all my life, I've also been a person who's made his bed in the morning and picks up the bath mat. That's what I mean by temperament. Whether genetic or acquired, I have a disposition to arrangements. One is born with this, as if with blue eyes or a weak heart. Do you think Allen Ginsberg ever put the cap back on his toothpaste?”

IfsThinkingGivingWellsHeartMeanPersonsMadeUseFeelingsEyeOrderBornMorningShapesBedPicksArgumentWeakBlueTechniqueSchemesFormalArrangementsRhymeDispositionTemperamentBathsSonnetCapsBlue EyesToothpasteGinsberg
Author:J. D. McClatchy
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“You know, it's trying to put toothpaste back in the tube. Not only are there a lot of outsiders intervening but this also involves a vicious internal war. There are many who believe the Alawites will fight to the death because they believe that, should they lose power, the majority would take, would show no compassion for them. They ruled that country for a long time, ruthlessly. It is a vicious civil war that makes one want to cry every day.”

KnowsWantShouldTryingBelieveLongWarCountryShowsFightingLosesCompassionCryLong TimeMajorityCivil WarInternalsOutsidersViciousTubesToothpasteInterveningNo Compassion
Author:John Kasich
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“She would smile and show no surprise, convinced as she was, the same as I, that casual meetings are apt to be just the opposite, and that people who make dates are the same kind who need lines on their writing paper, or who always squeeze up from the bottom on a tube of toothpaste.”

PeopleLifeNeedsWritingKindShowsLinesPaperOppositesMeetingsSurpriseBottomConvincedCasualTubesToothpasteHopscotch
Book:Hopscotch, Blow-Up, We Love Glenda So Much
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“I'd heard of Evergreen Care Center before. Cass and I had always made fun of the stupid ads they ran on TV, featuring some dragged-out woman with a limp perm and big, painted-on circles under her eyes, downing vodka and sobbing uncontrollably. "We can't heal you at Evergreen", the very somber voiceover said. "But we can help you to heal yourself." It had become our own running joke, applicable to almost anything. "Hey Cass, "I'd say, "hand me that toothpaste." "Caitlin," she'd say, her voice dark and serious. "I can't hand you the toothpaste. But I CAN help you hand the toothpaste to yourself.”

MadeSaidI CanHelpingHandsBigsEyeCareRunningFunVoiceDarkHeardStupidSeriousTvsJokesCirclesHealHeyRanAdsHer EyesVodkaSobbingToothpasteSomberEvergreensDowningPerms
Book:Dreamland
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“I let her through. She checked Derek's pulse and his breathing, saying both seemed okay, then leaned down to his face. "Nothing weird on his breath. Smells . . . like toothpaste." Derek's eyes opened, and the first thing he saw was Tori's face inches from his. He jumped and let out an oath. Simon cracked up. I madly motioned for him to be quiet. "Are you okay?" I asked Derek. "He is now," Simon said. "After Tori jump-started his heart.”

FirstsHeartSaidEyeFacesSawsQuietOkayBreathsSmellBreathingInchesPulseOathCrackedToothpaste
Book:The Reckoning: Number 3 in series
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