“The conquest of the earth, which mostly means the taking it away from those who have a different complexion or slightly flatter noses than ourselves, is not a pretty thing when you look into it too much.”
Quote by Joseph Conrad
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“Oh, this your wife, huh? A lovely lady. Hey baby, you must've been something before electricity.”
“I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: 'Basement?'”
“When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. ... and no one showed up.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“When I was 3 years old, my parents got a dog. I was jealous of the dog, so they got rid of me.”
Source: It's Not Easy Bein' Me: A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs
“Sure I smoked pot in hospital. My wife won't let me toke at home.”
