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Quote by Dana Gould

“I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction.”

Quote by Dana Gould

Author

Dana Gould is an American comedian, writer, and television producer. Known for his unique sense of humor and insightful social commentary, Gould was born on August 24, 1964. He began his career performing in Los Angeles comedy clubs and has since gained recognition in television and film. more

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“A giant python was discovered in Florida. Spooky news for a state that derives half it's income from a giant mouse.”

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“Here's something you never hear: Now that I've worked through all my emotional issues, I'm free to dedicate my life to ventriloquism!”

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“They say that cats are the only animal that can sit in your lap and ignore you. To which I say: you've never been to the Spearmint Rhino.”

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“When I found out that coffins are padded, I stopped fearing death.”

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“You will never experience less reality than when you are watching a reality show. You're watching people who aren't actors, put into situations created by people who aren't writers and they're second guessing how they think you would like to see them behave if this were a real situation, which it's not. And you are passively observing this; watching an amateur production of nothing. It's like a photo of a drawing of a hologram.”

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“I grew up in a town called Hopedale, Massachusetts. I was born there in 1964, and the only thing I hate outside of myself is everything else.”

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“Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out looking younger - but they don't. They just look the same; they all get plastic surgery face. No matter who they look like going in, they all come out looking like the girl from the band on 'The Muppet Show.”

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“Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.”

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