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Quote by Mélissa Da Costa

“– J'ai du mal à comprendre tes raisonnements parfois. Mais si la solitude et l'inactivité te font du bien... – Je ne suis pas toujours seule et loin d'être inactive. – Tu ne comprends pas... – Si. Tu penses qu'on est moins seul au milieu d'inconnus et qu'on est actif si on rapporte un revenu”

Quote by Mélissa Da Costa

Book:Les Lendemains
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Les Lendemains

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Mélissa Da Costa

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“It scares us more than anything except death. Being alone. Our fear of solitude is so ingrained that given the choice of being alone or being with others we opt for safety in numbers, even at the expense of lingering in painful, boring, or totally unredeeming company. And yet more of us than ever are alone. While many more Americans have their solo lifestyles thrust on them--people die, people go away--a huge and growing population is choosing to be alone. Nonetheless, we persist in the conviction that a solitary existence is the harshest sentence life can mete to us. We loathe being alone--anytime, anywhere, for too long, for whatever reason. From childhood we're conditioned to accept that when alone we instinctively ache for company, that loners are outsiders yearning to get in rather than people who are content with their own company. Alone, we squander life by rejecting its full potential and wasting its remaining promises. Alone, we accept that experiences unshared are barely worthwhile, that sunsets viewed singly are not as spectacular, that time spent apart is fallow and pointless. And so we grow old believing we are nothing by ourselves, steadfastly shunning the opportunities for self-discovery and personal growth that time alone could bring us.”

Solitude Is ScaryFear Of Aloneness Is IngrainedWe Loathe Aloneness
Book:Celebrating Time Alone: Stories Of Splendid Solitude
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“Around the center leader Muktesh Thomas Forsberg and Jivan Kavya Eva Wells at the Osho meditation Center in Stockholm have gathered people, who systematically have used their positions at the center for power abuses. By using lies and vicious gossip as a means of expressing aggressiveness  ,these people have systematically committed abuse of power and trying to dominate people.These people express envy, condemnation and domination through lies and gross slenderness. It is really the ego that wants to condemn and control.  But these women think that they are aware, but they are really just ignorant, which is the blindness of the ego.When I visited the center, which I had not visited for almost 15 years, I was met by the therapist Moa Bergmark, who told me: "You know that this is a dysfunctional group. But when I began to confront the lies and vicious rumors about me and the dysfunctional structure of the center, Moa Bergmark was suddenly very quiet. This made it obvious that Bergmark was actually a part of the collective unconscious of the dysfunctional group. When Teresa, the center leader who was appointed by Osho himself, invited me to work with therapy- and meditation courses together with her, I felt joy and support  from Teresa. But when Teresa left the center and Muktesh Thomas Forsberg became the center leader, the joy and support disappeared, and I felt that he was just trying to control me.Anutosh Malin William-Olsson, one of the current gossip mongers at the Osho center in Stockholm heard a private conversation between me and my friend Eric Rolf, former consultant to John Lennon, during the eighties, which she had nothing to do with and which she did not understand, but she used this  to spread a lie and a gross negative slender negative rumors about me. Pradeepa Eva Tallqvist, one of the other gossip mongers said: "Giten has suchan integrity" and I thought: "Do these people have any integrity at all." Anubhuti Cecelia Lind commented on two of my students by saying in a  negative way: "Here come the disciples of Giten." Premleena Lena Wettergran told Vanya Pernilla Mårtens that she had done a course with me and said: "It is good that we have someone like Giten in Sweden", which Vanya also turned into something negative and said that I was nothing compared to the visiting therapists. It was Premleena who told me this, but when Premleena got entangled in the involved the dysfunctional structure and the collective unconscious of the center she did not even say hello to me any longer. The center leader Muktesh also joined in with the old woman and confirmed the gross and negative slender by saying: "Giten is so stubborn." My former girlfriend Marga told me that Anna Ganga Hoffman was spreading lies and gross slenderabout me at the Osho center in Stockholm. Marga had been sitting together with Hoffman and the other gossip mongers at the center,and when Hoffman realized that Marga was sitting there, she wanted Marga to confirm  her lies. Marga knew that these were just vicious lies, but she remained quiet because she did not have the courage to confront Hoffman and the gossip mongers at the Osho center in Stockholm  about their sick lies and gross slender. Prem Pathik in Nepal commented: "This must be a few people, who are really not living their lives as they like. These women who are searching  for a deeper space can never know you." It was also these people that my friend, Eric Rolf ,former consultant to John Lennon, met at the Osho center  in Stockholm, and she commented:  "I have been around, but these people just wanted to  control me. I did not enjoy it so much." I wrote a letter to Osho himself about the situation and the reply I receivws was: "humor is the highest state of consciousness.”

ReligionDominationAbuse Of PowerSlenderCultsOshoSpiritual OrganizationsDysfunctional Groups
Book:Meditation: A Love Affair with the Whole - Thousand and One Flowers of Silence, Love, Joy, Truth, Freedom, Beauty and the Divine
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“A psychologist came to me for a personal meeting and said, "It's good that it's not a cult." There are two kinds of people, who come to spiritual teachers and spiritual organizations. The first kind is the power people and the second kind is the awareness people. The power people focus on the outer world. They focus on creating rules, ideologies , hierarchies, churches and organizations. The awareness people focus on the inner world. They focus on meditation, love, silence, truth, freedom, creativity and the divine. Often these two kinds of people come in conflict in a spiritual organization. I do not belong to any spiritual group or tradition any longer, I am just interested in exploring what it means to live with open eyes. People in spiritual organizations tend to get caught in ideas of how it should be, and in the need of the ego to create hierarchies of power, status, roles, ambition and obedience. Spiritual Masters teach on many different levels at the same time. Some people take what they can and some take something deeper. Padma, my beloved friend for many lives, recounted during satsang with me that she told a visiting therapist during an individual consultation at a meditation center in Stockholm that she did not feel at home at the center. The therapist replied, "That is because you don’t belong to the collective unconscious at the center." The members of a dysfunctional and unconscious group structure play the three roles: aggressor, denier (the denier is the role of "I have not seen anything,, "I do not understand what is going on", "I do not say anything" and "I do not hear anything" - like the three apes, who do not speak, see or hear) and the third role is the victim of the dysfunctional group. This is the psychological structure in both alcoholic families, in dysfunctional groups and in cults. A dysfunctional group is a neurotic group, where there is no real love. The core of the dysfunctional group is instead neurotic, and the group does not really want to change, so any attempts from the outside for change will be met with resistance, silence and aggressive attack. The basic sign of a dysfunctional group is that the members of the group play three roles and positions: aggressor, denier and victim. It is always easier to follow the group without reflection or awareness, than to trust your own heart, to trust your own intelligence, truth, wisdom and creativity. It is not always easy to follow your own heart, but it always leads you right.”

ReligionChurchObedienceCultSectarianismTrust Your HeartSpiritual OrganizationsHierarchiesDysfunctional Group
Book:The Way of the Heart
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“If they do there are ways to weather the storm without bidding against yourself or responding with anger. Once you learn these tactics, you’ll be prepared to withstand the hit and counter with panache. First, deflect the punch in a way that opens up your counterpart. Successful negotiators often say “No” in one of the many ways we’ve talked about (“How am I supposed to accept that?”) or deflect the anchor with questions like “What are we trying to accomplish here?” Responses like these are great ways to refocus your counterpart when you feel you’re being pulled into the compromise trap.”

TrapRefocusPunchWithstandDeflect
Book:Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
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