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Quote by Haile M.A. Rucleif

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Haile M.A. Rucleif

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“Wir trauen uns nicht, uns unsere Gefühle von Hilflosigkeit, Ohnmacht oder das Bedürfnis nach Nähe einzugestehen und jemand anderem zu zeigen, und können daher auch nicht erfahren, dass wir damit angenommen werden können. Wichtig hierbei ist, dass es gar nicht darum geht, etwas zu ändern, sondern dass die Lösung das Mitteilen dieser inneren Bewegungen selbst schon die Transformation darstellt! Noch mal: Die Lösung ist bereits das Mitteilen an sich! Es gibt darüber hinaus nichts zu tun oder zu lernen. Das ist die Transformation der Kindheit.”

“In der Kindheit haben wir intensiv erlebt, dass der Kontakt zu unseren Eltern oft eine Gefahr darstellt. Wenn wir unsere dadurch entstandenen Schutzmechanismen nicht gelöst haben, sehen wir andere auch weiterhin als Bedrohung an. Dann sagen - und meinen - wir vielleicht, dass wir unseren Mann oder unsere Frau lieben, umbewusst aber kämpfen wir in der Beziehung um unser Überleben.”

“The quest for money, resources, and power would only end in war and deaths, blood spilled across continents, blasts brightening up the night sky and children watching in amazement at the spectacle unaware of their impending deaths. And as humanity gets wiped out the things that disgust us the most will emerge out of the earth, feeding on the bodies and wastes, mutating and enlarging in size, crawling, and running where we once stomped feet.”

“Duran argues for the need for healing institutions to retain culturally competent staff and that the adherence to strictly Western models of treatment maintains the colonization process. Hodge, Limb, and Cross claim that the Western therapeutic project is inconsistent with many Indigenous cultures and often serves as a form of Western colonization.”

“I spoke with one woman who would watch her narcissistic mom observe other people's insecurities and shower them with compliments and praise in those areas. Those "targets" felt loved, seen, heard. Her mom didn't care about these people.”

“I invite you to use Janet Hurley's feedback wheel, a form of speaking that has four parts. It is a structure you can use to organize your thoughts and more skillfully speak up when you are hurt. 1. This is what I recollect happened. 2. This is what I made up about it. 3. This is what I felt. And that all-important fourth step most speakers leave out: 4. This would help me feel better. In other words, this is what repair might look like. ... 1. Terry, you said you'd be home by six and you arrive at 6:45, no message or text, while I sat with the kids waiting for dinner. 2. What I make up about that is that you still have some narcissistic traits and that you value your time over ours. 3. I felt sad lonely, fearful of the impact on our children, hurt, and angry. 4. What I'd like now is for you to apologize to the kids, and to me for that matter. And tell me what you're going to do to not repeat this pattern. Notice that each step of the wheel is complete in just a few sentences. Be concise. And here are two more important tips. First, when you share your feelings, be sure to share your feelings, not your thoughts - keep them separate. "I feel like you're angry" doesn't cut it. Better would be "I make up that you're angry and about that I feel.”