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Quote by Amelia Diane Coombs

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Exactly Where You Need to Be

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Amelia Diane Coombs

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“Indeed, many relationships identified as “codependent” do involve pride, not low self-worth or a deficiency of selflove. An underlying lie of people married to drunks and other “losers” may be their own sense of mastery and self-confidence in being able to change others through their own wonderful goodness and love. They may have excessive belief in their own ability to help another person, or they may think that others will change just because of being married to them. They may also have high expectations of the spouse being forever grateful for being rescued by such an excellent partner. Then when their heroic efforts fail, they may cast blame onto themselves as well as their spouses, parents, or whomever else might be in the picture. They may then experience feelings of hopelessness about themselves and their circumstances. They may be filled with self-pity and be dissatisfied with themselves. But that is not true self-hatred. That is self-love that does not want to suffer.”

“When people break us and walk away, we are not left empty- handed. We are left with many gifts. We gradually start seeing the world beyond the people who broke us. We start turning inward for the things we used to turn outward for. We start relying on ourselves—trusting and befriending our own spirit. We start taking comfort in solitude, becoming more in tune with the life we want to draw our breaths from. We start learning who to trust and who not to trust, who to let in and who to keep at a distance. When people break us and walk away, it aches—it feels like a part of us has fled with them. But remember—growth and greatness steps forward in our lives when people step back. Every heartbreak clears our path for a stronger tie with ourselves, and this is a gift.”

“TV and media create in many people a sense of entitlement to happiness, love and care from others. [...] The problem with this [...] is that we are stuck looking for lovability, worth and our true place in life from other mere mortals. If everyone is looking for it, who has a surplus of love and care to give to fill our need? [...] We must accept that our lovability and worth don't come from others. They come from ourselves!”

“We all know someone who criticizes us to diminish our confidence or belittle our achievements. A person so disturbed, they project their insecurity onto others to make themselves feel superior. But no one can destroy what God has built up. Your greatest defense against their inferiority complex? Become a reminder of why they are inferior.”