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A Rogue Element

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Paul Nat

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“...repeated trauma in childhood forms and deforms the personality. The child trapped in an abusive environment is faced with formidable tasks of adaptation. She must find a way to preserve a sense of trust in people who are untrustworthy, safety in a situation that is unsafe, control in a situation that is terrifyingly unpredictable, power in a situation of helplessness. Unable to care for or protect herself, she must compensate for the failures of adult care and protection with the only means at her disposal, an immature system of psychological defenses.”

TrustPersonalityTraumaBetrayalOverwhelmingChild AbusePtsdOverwhelmedCopingAbuse SurvivorsPowerlessnessTraumatic ExperiencesUnsafeTraumatizedOut Of ControlPost Traumatic Stress DisorderComplex PtsdUntrustworthyAbusive ParentsPosttraumatic Stress DisorderPersonality DisordersBetrayal TraumaDefense MechanismTerrifyingParental AbuseAbused ChildPsychological DefenceHelpelessness
Book:Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
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“Have you ever truly, keenly felt like you don't know who you are? Do you ever do something and think, Who is at the controls? Like some mad pilot has locked you out of the cockpit? I definitely do. I feel a kind of vertigo that makes me shake afterwards. I guess we all feel it when making a difficult-seeming choice, and sometimes you seriously don't know what you want because you don't know who you're supposed to be, or who you want to be. Physics, my first and second families, my philosophy degree, had all failed to help me answer that question. The former has led me to wonder whether I am one of an infinite number of Alices in multiple universes. A quantum fuck-up, which is someone who fucks up in every one of those universes but in different ways.”

IdentityUncertaintyDecision MakingFinding YourselfSympathyMultiverseOut Of ControlOlivia Sudjic
Book:Sympathy
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“Tisiphone stood silent and helpless in Alicia's mind. It was all she could do to keep Alicia's blind savagery from dragging Megaira under and clouding the lightning-fast reflexes which kept them both alive. She'd never guessed what she was creating, never imagined the monster she'd spawned. She'd seen the power of Alicia DeVries's mind without recognizing the controls which kept that power in check, and only now had she begun to understand fully what she had done. She had shattered those controls. The compassion and mercy she'd feared no longer existed, only the red, ravening hunger. Yet terrible as that might be, there was worse. She'd found the hole Alicia had gnawed through the wall about her inner rage, and she couldn't close it. Somehow, without even realizing it was possible, Alicia had reached beyond herself. She'd followed Tisiphone's connection to the Fury's own rage, her own destruction, and made that incalculable power hers as well. For the first time in millennia, Tisiphone faced another as powerful as herself, a mortal mind which had stolen the power of the Furies themselves, and that power had driven it mad.”

AngerRageFuryOut Of Control
Book:In Fury Born (1)
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“Life was about making sense out of the insensible. A ball of fire out of a clear blue sky? Must’ve been a meteorite, maybe debris from an airplane. Random flashes of light and color at night? A transformer blew up, you must’ve been dreaming, you’re talking crazy, quiet down, take your meds.”

MagicTraumaViolentThrillerSupernaturalOut Of ControlShotgunTraumatic EventsSupernatural AbilitiesThriller Fiction
Book:The Sixth Borough
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“Edward breathed in the sweet fragrance of the dogwood blossoms. The delicious air came into his lungs and passed into his blood, coursing through his veins with euphoric energy that he’d never experienced. He felt as strong as a hundred men as they passed out of the dogwood coppice and began the ascent up the hill. Their pace was leisurely. Edward could have run all the way to the top if he wanted, but no urge to do so imposed itself on him. For the first time in his life, Edward felt peace, down to the marrow of his bones.”

LoveTruthSolitudePersistenceUncertainNew ExperiencesCaptivatingOut Of ControlEnigmaticMetaphysical Fiction
Book:One More Life to Live
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“Honey, it's no good to ever think that way. We make the decisions we make based on information we have at the time. You did what you thought was right. How could you possibly have known there were such monsters in the world? I didn't know. They killed Genevieve's boyfriend and her grandmother. They killed my mentor and my brother. I still didn't know, not really, not until I saw them for myself. You can't blame yourself for something that is out of your control.”

InformationMonstersOut Of ControlBlaming SelfWhat You Think Is Right
Book:Dark Carousel
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