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Quote by Margaret Atwood

“Here's a health to our Captain, so gallant and free Whether stuck on a rock or asleep 'neath a tree Or rolled in the arms of some nymph of the sea Which is where we would all like to be, man!”

Quote by Margaret Atwood

Book:The Penelopiad

Work

In this novel, the author reimagines the story of Penelope, the wife of Odysseus, from the viewpoints of the women who served her during her husband's long journey. The narrative explores themes of power, loyalty, and the role of women in ancient Greek society. more

Author

Margaret Atwood

Margaret Atwood is a renowned Canadian poet, novelist, playwright, and critic, born on November 18, 1939. Her works are known for their unique style and profound insights into social issues, with notable titles including 'The Handmaid's Tale' and 'Cat's Eye'. more

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“Necessity is a mother.”

Book:The Night of the Gun

Source: The Night of the Gun

“Do not oversleep and miss the school bus- you'll be late. That's a habit teachers generally don't appreciate. Never tell your friends at school that you still wet your bed. They are sure to tease you, and you'll wish that you were dead. Never call your teacher a name when she's not near you. Teachers' ears are excellent, so they can always hear you. Do not read a textbook when your hands aren't clean-it's tricky to separate the pages when the pages get real sticky. When you go out for a team it's always wise to practice. When you are a substitute, the bench can feel like cactus. Do not copy homework from a friend who is a dummy. If you do, I'm sure that you will get a grade that's crummy. And if your report card's bad, don't blame it on your buddy. Kiss up to your parents quick, or they might make you study.”

Humour School Rules

Author:Bruce Lansky

“I don’t know whether Asimov realized he was saying this as well, but as an old historical materialist, if only as an afterthought, he must have realized that he was saying too: No one here will ever look at you, read a word you write, or consider you in any situation, no matter whether the roof is falling in or the money is pouring in, without saying to him- or herself (whether in an attempt to count it or to discount it), 'Negro...' The racial situation, permeable as it might sometimes seem (and it is, yes, highly permeable), is nevertheless your total surround. Don’t you ever forget it...! And I never have.”

Writing Race Humour Irony

Author:Samuel R. Delaney

“Mrs. Trotter made a sincere though wrong sound, while opening her handbag to look for help.”

Humour Handbags

Book:The Vivisector

Source: The Vivisector

“Wer lügt, hat die Wahrheit immerhin gedacht.”

Truth Funny Humour

Author:Oliver Hassencamp

“Wir brauchen keinen Dritten Weltkrieg. Wir haben Kapitalismus, Kommunismus und Tourismus.”

Politics Humour

Author:Oliver Hassencamp

“Hey, the ubiquitous Leak-Cam is to 2010 as the bottom-of-the-screen news ticker was to late 2001: What you're seeing beneath the news anchor or talking head may not actually include any new information, but you feel like you're watching something dramatic.”

Humour News Deepwater Horizon Oil Spill

Author:Jim Geraghty

“Wie steht eine Frau vor dem Spiegel? Immer in Bewegung. Sie lässt nicht locker, bis sie etwas entdeckt, was nicht perfekt ist. Liebe Frauen, in dem einen Punkt könnt ihr etwas von uns Männern lernen. Wir zerfleischen uns nicht mit Selbstkritik. Wie steht ein Kerl vor dem Spiegel? Frontal, regungslos und kurz. Und nach zwei Sekunden ist er mit sich im Reinen - "passt schon". Mehr will er gar nicht wissen. Natürlich hat ein Mann irgendwann auch einen Bauchansatz. Aber kein Mann ist so doof und dreht sich vor dem Spiegel ins Profil!”

Book:Glück kommt selten allein...

Source: Glück kommt selten allein...

“I'm pretty sure my parents are pretending they are sick. I know because I taught them both to do that little trick. You blow your nose and hold your head and claim your brain is breaking. And so, a pro like me would know my folks are clearly faking. A little thing I learned in school convinced me I am right. My parents are supposed to meet my principal tonight.”

Author:Ted Scheu

“I Will Not Tease Rebecca Grimes I have to write one hundred times: "I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." Okay, that's one. I'm far from done. (This isn't gonna be much fun.) "I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." That's two. I'm paying for my crimes. It's all because I pulled her hair And put spaghetti on her chair. Because I gave her goofy looks And squirted mustard on her books, I have to write one hundred times: "I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." That's three. Whoopee. It's going slow. Just ninety-seven more to go. "I will not tease" (I'm keeping score.) "Rebecca Grimes." (Now that makes four.) I'm soaked with sweat. My shirt is damp. I think I'm getting writer's cramp. "I will not, will not, will not tease Rebecca Grimes!" Can I stop, please? The teacher frowns, and that means no. I still have sixty-six to go. "I will-will-will not-not-not-not Tease-tease-tease-tease..." It's getting hot. "I will not tease Rebecca Grimes." That's ninety-nine. The school bell chimes. Just one more line and I'll be through. Rebecca Grimes, this one's for you! My final line will rhyme with "Grimes": "I will not tease Rebecca...Slimes!" Rebecca Slimes! Ha ha! That's great! I'd better hide it. Oops! Too late! The teacher sees what I wrote down. She takes my paper with a frown. I now must write one thousand times: "I will not tease Rebecca Grimes.”

Author:Dave Crawley