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Quote by Bridget Whelan

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Mrs Finnegan's guide to Love, life and laxatives

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Bridget Whelan

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“This isn’t the lunch I’d planned for myself,” Babette said. “I was seriously thinking yogurt and wheat germ.” “Where have we heard that before?” Denise said. “Probably right here,” Steffie said. “She keeps buying that stuff.” “But she never eats it,” Steffie said. “Because she thinks if she keeps buying it, she’ll have to eat it just to get rid of it. It’s like she’s trying to trick herself.” “It takes up half the kitchen.” “But she throws it away before she eats it because it goes bad,” Denise said. “So then she starts the whole thing all over again.” “Wherever you look,” Steffie said, “there it is.” “She feels guilty if she doesn’t buy it, she feels guilty if she buys it and doesn’t eat it, she feels guilty when she sees it in the fridge, she feels guilty when she throws it away.” “It’s like she smokes but she doesn’t,” Steffie said.”

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“Lady Ivy, tell Bram that hilarious thing you were just telling me," Emmett says. I could kill him. "Um-" I rack my brain for anything clever I've ever said. "Shrimps' hearts are in their heads," I stammer. "What?" Bram says at the same time that Emmett says "What?" even louder. "Uh, shrimps' hearts-" "No, we heard you," Emmett says. "Are you . . . fond of shrimp?" Bram asks. "Not particularly." "Oh," Bram says while Emmett stands behind him, looking at me wide-eyed and horrified. "I'll go now." I turn and walk in the opposite direction. "Wai, no, the other hilarious thing!" Emmett calls, and I run, not toward the center of the maze, but to hide from him.”

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