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The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing

This book explores the dynamics of emotionally abusive relationships and provides strategies for both victims and abusers to break free from such harmful patterns. more

Author

Beverly Engel
Beverly Engel

Beverly Engel is a renowned psychotherapist specializing in the fields of emotional and mental health. Her work involves helping individuals overcome fears, anxieties, and other psychological barriers. Although her exact birth and death years are unknown, her influence and contributions to the field of psychotherapy are significant. more

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“Men as Victims: Challenging Cultural Myths Judith Herman’s recent treatise on “complex PTSD" (Herman, 1992) is an extremely articulate and compelling analysis of some of the failings of the current PTSD diagnosis, and of some of the psychological legacies of prolonged, repeated trauma. However, there was one aspect of the article which concerned me and which I wish to address. Throughout the article, "Complex PTSD: A Syndrome in Survivors of Prolonged and Repeated Trauma," whenever reference is made by pronoun to perpetrators or "captors," the pronoun "he" or "him' is used. There are four such references. Whenever reference is made by pronoun to victims or survivors, the pronoun "her" or "she" is used. There are 11 such references. This is not simply an issue of the use of sexist language, which it is. By uniformly linking perpetration with males and victimhood with females, a misconception is perpetuated, one that is shared by the public and by mental health professionals. While there is evidence that most perpetrators of sexual abuse are male, and that there are more female victims of sexual abuse than male victims, it is not true that all perpetrators are male and all victims are female. In fact, in the article, some of the traumas from which Dr. Herman was deriving her argument—political torture, concentration camp survivors, for example—affect as many males as females. Even in the case of sexual abuse, there is increasing evidence that the sexual abuse of males is far more prevalent than has heretofore been believed. Research on male sexual victimization lags more than a decade behind that of female victimization, but several recent studies have reported prevalence rates near or above 20% (Finkelhor et at, 1990; Urquiza, 1988, cited in Urquiza and Keating, 1990; Lisak and Luster, 1992).”

TortureSexismBiasSexual AbuseSexistSurvivorsRape CulturePerpetratorsSurvivors Of AbuseComplex PtsdRape MythsAbusive WomenConcentration Camp SurvivorMale Sexual AbuseAbused MenMale Survivors
Author:David Lisak
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“Some who question the authenticity of the memories of abuse do so in part because of the intensity and sincerity of the accused persons who deny the abuse . . . the current denials of those accused of sexual abuse are not proof that the allegations are false. Research with known rapists, pedophiles, and incest offenders has illustrated that they often exhibit a cognitive distortion –a tendency to justify, minimize, or rationalize their behavior (Gudjonsson, 1992). Because accused persons are motivated to verbally and even mentally deny an abusive past, simple denials cannot constitute cogent evidence that the victim’s memories are not authentic. Loftus, E. (1993). The reality of repressed memories. American Psychologist, 48, 518-537.”

GuiltyAbusive ParentsAbusive MenPedophilesChild AbusersAbusive WomenAccused Adults
Author:Elizabeth F. Loftus
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“That's how the world is arranged: they can take anyone's freedom from him, without a qualm. If we want to take back the freedom which is our birthright—they make us pay with our lives and the lives of all whom we meet on the way. They can do anything, but we cannot. That's why they are stronger than we.”

TotalitarianismAuthoritarianismSoviet RussiaStalinism19771951
Book:The Gulag Archipelago, 1918-1956: An Experiment in Literary Investigation, Books V-VII
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“Being honest with yourself about your holdbacks and demons from the past is crucial, as they may be preventing you from becoming the person you aspire to be”

MotivationalSuccessInspirational QuotesEntrepreneurshipFuture PlansFuture InspirationalDeveloping Leadership SkillsFuture SuccessLife Motivations
Book:Suck Less, Do Better: The End of Excuses & the Rise of the Unstoppable You
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