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Abusive Relationships Quotes

Browse 77 quotes about Abusive Relationships.

Abusive Relationships Quotes

“i dreamt i crawled on top of you and kissed your hips, one at a time, my lips a smolder. i straddled your waist and pressed both shaking hands against your torso. spongy, like an old tree on the forest floor. i push and your flesh sinks inwardly, collapsing with decay, a soft shushing sound. a yawning hole where your organs should be. maggots used to live here until your own poison killed them off. i laid my cheek into the loam and three little mushrooms brushed over my eyelid. peat, decomposing matter, all of it, whatever you wish to call it, rested in the cavity of your chest. and there i planted seeds in the hopes something good would come out of you.”

LoveNatureHeartbreakAbuseTraumaLustRecoveryMoving OnHuman ConditionMoving On And Letting GoAbusive RelationshipsAbusive RelationshipAbusive MenEnd Of A RelationshipDealing With Heartbreak
Book:calloused: a field journal
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“Shout out to everyone transcending a mindset, mentality, desire, belief, emotion, habit, behavior or vibration, that no longer serves them.”

LoveLifeInspirational QuotesLife LessonsPurposeWinningGrowthRelationshipsFriendshipLove QuotesFamilyFocusSelf HelpPositive ThinkingSelf LoveVictoryDramaLetting GoDepressionSelf ImprovementRelationship QuotesEncouragementTransformationPersonal GrowthPositivityMoving ForwardTransitionEncouragingMotivational QuoteSelf DevelopmentRebirthNew AdultOvercomerPositive MindsetSoul MateSoul MatesNegative PeopleToxic PeopleMoving On And Letting GoLetting Go QuotesElevatingNegative EnergyPositive PeopleAbusive RelationshipsNegative InfluenceWalk AwayAdultingWonElevateLalah DeliaDead EndVibrate Higher DailyBreak Up QuotesVibrate HigherBest DecisionHigh FrequencyLow Frequency
Author:Lalah Delia
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“If you walked away from a toxic, negative, abusive, one-sided, dead-end low vibrational relationship or friendship — you won.”

LoveLifeInspirational QuotesLife LessonsPurposeWinningRelationshipsFriendshipLove QuotesFamilyFocusPositive ThinkingVictoryDramaLetting GoDepressionRelationship QuotesEncouragementPositivityMoving ForwardEncouragingMotivational QuoteOvercomerPositive MindsetSoul MateSoul MatesNegative PeopleToxic PeopleMoving On And Letting GoLetting Go QuotesNegative EnergyPositive PeopleAbusive RelationshipsNegative InfluenceWalk AwayWonLalah DeliaDead EndVibrate Higher DailyBreak Up QuotesVibrate HigherBest DecisionHigh FrequencyLow Frequency
Author:Lalah Delia
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“Forgiving lavishly does not mean that we continue to place ourselves in harm's way. The Bible takes great pains to address the dangers of keeping company with those who perpetually harm others. Those who learn nothing from their past mistakes are termed fools. While we may forgive the fool for hurting us, we do not give the fool unlimited opportunity to hurt us again. To do so would be to act foolishly ourselves. When Jesus extends mercy in the Gospels, he always does so with an implicit or explicit, "Go and sin no more." When our offender persists in sinning against us, we are wise to put boundaries in place. Doing so is itself an act of mercy toward the offender. By limiting his opportunity to sin against us, we spare him further guilt before God. Mercy never requires submission to abuse, whether spiritual, verbal, emotional, or physical.”

ChristianityForgivenessMercyAbuseChristian LivingAbusive RelationshipsAbused WomenMe Too
Book:In His Image: 10 Ways God Calls Us to Reflect His Character
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“I always imagined it was going to be a huge ordeal, but it was such a subtle transition away from the abuse. One day I started talking to them about an idea I had, they looked uninterested as usual, and told me to leave them alone. That was the one... far from the worst moment, but that was the final one... I decided to give them exactly what they asked for. It was over. I've never been happier.”

RelationshipsLetting GoAbuseAbusive Relationships
Author:Steve Maraboli
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“... you may seek out a partner who psychologically resembles your mother and found that you have walked right back into a difficult relationship. Perhapse you chose to be close to someone who turns out to be as volatile as your mother and who inflicts discomfort all too familiar to you. Or perhaps gradually, over time, your partner or close friend becomes like your mother; that may be because you unconsciously behave in ways that encourage others to treat you as your mother did.”

MotherAbuseParentsAbusive RelationshipsAbuse Recovery
Book:Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power
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“I think maybe, when I was very young, I witnessed a chaste cheek kiss between the two when it was impossible to avoid. Christmas, birthdays. Dry lips. On their best married days, their communications were entirely transactional: 'We're out of milk again.' (I'll get some today.) 'I need this ironed properly.' (I'll do that today.) 'How hard is it to buy milk?' (Silence.) 'You forgot to call the plumber.' (Sigh.) 'Goddammit, put on your coat, right now, and go out and get some goddamn milk. Now.' These messages and orders brought to you by my father, a mid-level phonecompany manager who treated my mother at best like an incompetent employee.”

LoveMotherFightingFatherSilenceFamilyRelationshipChildhoodCommunicationDepressionHeartbreakAbuseDivorceParentsSexismParenthoodFightParents And ChildrenChildhood MemoriesAbusiveAbusive RelationshipsFightsAbusive RelationshipLove LostBad ParentingBroken Home
Book:Gone Girl
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“She could not picture it. Herself riding on the subway or streetcar, caring for new horses, talking to new people, living among hordes of people every day who were not Clark. A life, a place, chosen for that specific reason––that it would not contain Clark. The strange and terrible thing coming clear to her about that world of the future, as she now pictured it, was that she would not exist there. She would only walk around, and open her mouth and speak, and do this and do that. She would not really be there. And what was strange about it was that she was doing all this, she was riding on this bus in the hope of recovering herself. As Mrs. Jamieson might say––and as she herself might with satisfaction have said––taking charge of her own life. With nobody glowering over her, nobody's mood infecting her with misery. But what would she care about? How would she know that she was alive? While she was running away from him––now––Clark still kept his place in her life. But when she was finished running away, when she just went on, what would she put in his place? What else––who else––could ever be so vivid a challenge?”

RegretInertiaAbusive Relationships
Book:Runaway: Stories
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“Adam and Aaron. Aaron because I was in love, Adam because he beat me. I met Adam first, then Aaron. The wound, then the salve. Maybe you don't know that you're wounded until you receive the salve. The salve that makes everything come back. After you get beaten, you don't go out. Your face swells into a snout. You don't buy Tylenol or groceries, because you'd look like an animal loosened onto the streets. Animal control would mistake you for something else. Instead, I stayed indoors. I washed the blood off the walls and the sheets. The splattered pillow I kept as evidence, not for anyone else, just for myself. I listened to music. Cat Power, The Covers Record. I caught up on my reading. From Primer to Abuse: Practiced abusers don't hit a woman in the face. The novice abuser is pushed to it only by extreme, uncontrollable conditions. I read it again. Not 'conditions'; 'emotions.' I brushed up on philosophy: To live is to exist within time. To remember is to negate time.”

HealingAbuseBoyfriendAbusive RelationshipsAbusive Men
Author:Ling Ma
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“From my research and experience, the answer is clear: Father is revolving around Mother like a planet around the sun. The narcissist needs to be married to a spouse who will allow her to be at the center of all the action. That is how it has to be if the marriage is to survive. In the family drama, the narcissist is the star, and her spouse takes a supporting role.”

MotherAbuseMothersNarcissismAbusive RelationshipsNarcissistic MothersAbusive Mothers
Book:Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
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“Abusive relationships exist because they provide enough rations of warmth, laughter, and affection to clutch onto like a security blanket in the heap of degradation. The good times are the initial euphoria that keeps addicts draining their wallets for toxic substances to inject into their veins. Scraps of love are food for an abusive relationship.”

FeminismAbuse SurvivorsAbusive RelationshipsDaddy IssuesAbusive ParentsMaggie Young QuotesMaggie YoungFeminist Writers
Author:Maggie Young
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“The woman knows from living with the abusive man that there are no simple answers. Friends say: “He’s mean.” But she knows many ways in which he has been good to her. Friends say: “He treats you that way because he can get away with it. I would never let someone treat me that way.” But she knows that the times when she puts her foot down the most firmly, he responds by becoming his angriest and most intimidating. When she stands up to him, he makes her pay for it—sooner or later. Friends say: “Leave him.” But she knows it won’t be that easy. He will promise to change. He’ll get friends and relatives to feel sorry for him and pressure her to give him another chance. He’ll get severely depressed, causing her to worry whether he’ll be all right. And, depending on what style of abuser he is, she may know that he will become dangerous when she tries to leave him. She may even be concerned that he will try to take her children away from her, as some abusers do.”

PsychologyAbuseDomestic ViolenceEmotional AbuseDomestic AbuseMental AbusePhysical AbusePsychological AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive RelationshipAbused WomenAbusive MenAbuserAbusive PartnersAbusive Partner
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“Invalidating someone else is not merely disagreeing with something that the other person said. It is a process in which individuals communicate to another that the opinions and emotions of the target are invalid, irrational, selfish, uncaring, stupid, most likely insane, and wrong, wrong, wrong. Invalidators let it be known directly or indirectly that their targets views and feelings do not count for anything to anybody at any time or in any way.”

PsychologyStupidSelfishInsaneDumbIrrationalEmotional AbuseAbuse SurvivorsPsychological AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive ParentsAbusive PeopleCrazy MakingInvalidateIrrational ThinkingFeeling StupidInvalidating
Author:David M. Allen
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“Nita: I think I overdid the vulnerability stuff in this last letter. and that’s why I’m having an anxiety attack. Howard: With the vulnerability comes the possibility that you’ll be betrayed. Now that you’ve laid yourself wide open, I am the agent of this betrayal? It’s not my style. Nita: I’ve thought it wasn't other people’s style, too.”

FearDoubtBetrayalVulnerableVulnerabilityDistrustDissociative Identity DisorderMistrustPsychotherapyAbusive RelationshipsTrust IssuesRelationship ProblemsTherapy SessionVulnerability Attachment
Book:Becoming One: A Story of Triumph Over Dissociative Identity Disorder
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“When my skin had gone back to its even tone I slept with another man and discovered, my hands lying awkwardly on the sheet at either side of me, that I had forgotten what to do with them. I'm responsible and an adult again, full time. What remains is that my sensation thermostat has been thrown out of whack; it's been years and sometimes I wonder whether my body will ever again register above lukewarm.”

SexRelationshipsDomestic ViolenceBdsmAbusive Relationships
Book:Nine and a Half Weeks: A Memoir of a Love Affair
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“The abuser’s mood changes are especially perplexing. He can be a different person from day to day, or even from hour to hour. At times he is aggressive and intimidating, his tone harsh, insults spewing from his mouth, ridicule dripping from him like oil from a drum. When he’s in this mode, nothing she says seems to have any impact on him, except to make him even angrier. Her side of the argument counts for nothing in his eyes, and everything is her fault. He twists her words around so that she always ends up on the defensive. As so many partners of my clients have said to me, “I just can’t seem to do anything right.” At other moments, he sounds wounded and lost, hungering for love and for someone to take care of him. When this side of him emerges, he appears open and ready to heal. He seems to let down his guard, his hard exterior softens, and he may take on the quality of a hurt child, difficult and frustrating but lovable. Looking at him in this deflated state, his partner has trouble imagining that the abuser inside of him will ever be back. The beast that takes him over at other times looks completely unrelated to the tender person she now sees. Sooner or later, though, the shadow comes back over him, as if it had a life of its own. Weeks of peace may go by, but eventually she finds herself under assault once again. Then her head spins with the arduous effort of untangling the many threads of his character, until she begins to wonder whether she is the one whose head isn’t quite right.”

PsychologyAbuseDomestic ViolenceEmotional AbuseAbuse SurvivorsDomestic AbuseAbusersMental AbusePhysical AbusePsychological AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive RelationshipAbused WomenAbusive MenAbuserAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“IN ONE IMPORTANT WAY, an abusive man works like a magician: His tricks largely rely on getting you to look off in the wrong direction, distracting your attention so that you won’t notice where the real action is. He draws you into focusing on the turbulent world of his feelings to keep your eyes turned away from the true cause of his abusiveness, which lies in how he thinks. He leads you into a convoluted maze, making your relationship with him a labyrinth of twists and turns. He wants you to puzzle over him, to try to figure him out, as though he were a wonderful but broken machine for which you need only to find and fix the malfunctioning parts to bring it roaring to its full potential. His desire, though he may not admit it even to himself, is that you wrack your brain in this way so that you won’t notice the patterns and logic of his behavior, the consciousness behind the craziness.”

AbuseDomestic ViolenceEmotional AbuseDomestic AbuseAbusersMental AbusePhysical AbusePsychological AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive RelationshipAbused WomenAbusive MenAbuserAbusive PartnersAbusive Partner
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“When people conclude that anger causes abuse, they are confusing cause and effect. Ray was not abusive because he was angry; he was angry because he was abusive. Abusers carry attitudes that produce fury.”

AbuseAngerDomestic ViolenceDomestic AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive MenAbuserAnger And AttitudeAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“I have sometimes said to a client: “If you are so in touch with your feelings from your abusive childhood, then you should know what abuse feels like. You should be able to remember how miserable it was to be cut down to nothing, to be put in fear, to be told that the abuse is your own fault. You should be less likely to abuse a woman, not more so, from having been through it.” Once I make this point, he generally stops mentioning his terrible childhood; he only wants to draw attention to it if it’s an excuse to stay the same, not if it’s a reason to change.”

AbuseDomestic AbuseChildhood AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive MenAbuserAbusive Partners
Author:Lundy Bancroft
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“Although the typical abusive man works to maintain a positive public image, it is true that some women have abusive partners who are nasty or intimidating to everyone. How about that man? Do his problems result from mistreatment by his parents? The answer is both yes and no; it depends on which problem we’re talking about. His hostility toward the human race may sprout from cruelty in his upbringing, but he abuses women because he has an abuse problem. The two problems are related but distinct.”

AbuseDomestic ViolenceDomestic AbuseChildhood AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive MenAbuserAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“To make matters worse, everyone she talks to has a different opinion about the nature of his problem and what she should do about it. Her clergyperson may tell her, “Love heals all difficulties. Give him your heart fully, and he will find the spirit of God.” Her therapist speaks a different language, saying, “He triggers strong reactions in you because he reminds you of your father, and you set things off in him because of his relationship with his mother. You each need to work on not pushing each other’s buttons.” A recovering alcoholic friend tells her, “He’s a rage addict. He controls you because he is terrified of his own fears. You need to get him into a twelve-step program.” Her brother may say to her, “He’s a good guy. I know he loses his temper with you sometimes—he does have a short fuse—but you’re no prize yourself with that mouth of yours. You two need to work it out, for the good of the children.” And then, to crown her increasing confusion, she may hear from her mother, or her child’s schoolteacher, or her best friend: “He’s mean and crazy, and he’ll never change. All he wants is to hurt you. Leave him now before he does something even worse.” All of these people are trying to help, and they are all talking about the same abuser. But he looks different from each angle of view.”

AdviceAbuseDomestic ViolenceEmotional AbusePsychotherapyDomestic AbuseMental AbusePsychological AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive RelationshipAbused WomenAbusive MenAbusive PartnersAbusive Partner
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“When I thought about how much time I had already put into a relationship without reciprocation from the other person and how I spent YEARS recovering and trying to recover from the damage of her verbal, emotional and physical abuse and neglect, I realized that I was the only one trying and I wasn’t the problem! That understanding changed everything!”

Healing InsightsDysfunctional FamilyAbusive RelationshipsAbusive MotherUnreciprocated Love
Author:Darlene Ouimet
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“Being a victim is supposed to set you free; it acquits you of any agency, any sense of responsibility to the person who did you harm. It's not your fault, they say. Leave him, they say. Nobody ever tells you what to do if leaving isn't an option. They just call you stupid. A dumb bitch. Sympathy is only meted out if you follow all of society's rules for how a victim is supposed to behave.”

RelationshipsSocietyAbuseSympathyMisogynyRapeViolence Against WomenAbuse SurvivorsAbusive RelationshipsVictim BlamingInternalized Misogyny
Book:Cease and Desist
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“This is what's known as the Cycle of Violence, where an explosion is followed by a period of remorse, then promises and pursuit, a false honeymoon stage, then a build-up in tension, a standover phase, and another explosion. Then kindness expressed during the false honeymoon stage may feel genuine to the abuser, but this reward phase - like every other part of the cycle - is still all about maintaining control. Periods of kindness, no matter how short, bond the victim to her abuser.”

Abusive RelationshipsCycle Of Violence
Book:See What You Made Me Do: Power, Control and Domestic Violence
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“Playing the victim role: Manipulator portrays him- or herself as a victim of circumstance or of someone else's behavior in order to gain pity, sympathy or evoke compassion and thereby get something from another. Caring and conscientious people cannot stand to see anyone suffering and the manipulator often finds it easy to play on sympathy to get cooperation.”

PeopleLoveMindHateEvilGamesRelationshipsFreedomLibertyLearningPsychologyEmotionalEmpathyHatredAbuseAffectionManipulationNarcissismSelf KnowledgeMind ControlPsychopathVoluntaryismVictimsAbusersGaslightingAbusive RelationshipsEmpathsEmpathicPleaser
Book:In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing With Manipulative People
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“Kay Douglas's book is the most supportive, realistic, and practical guide for abused women that I have encountered. A woman with this book in her hands is on the path to a new life. The author really 'gets it' about what it takes to deal with a destructive partner and takes the reader step-by-step from the beginnings of grasping what is happening to her all the way to healing once the relationship has ended. Outstanding!”

Emotional AbuseAbusive RelationshipsPartner AbuseDomestic Violence SurvivorsAbuse Survivor StoriesLundy Bancroft
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“10 facts about abusive relationships (what i wish i'd known) 1. it's not always loud. it's not always obvious. the poison doesn't always hit you like a gunshot. sometimes, it seeps in quietly, slowly. sometimes, you don't even know it was ever there until months after. 2. love is not draining. love is not tiring. this is not how it is supposed to be. 3. apologies are like band-aids, when what you really need is stitches– they don't actually fix anything long-term. soon enough, you'll be bleeding again, but they will never give you what you really need. 4. this is not your fault. you did not turn them into this. this is how they are, how they've always been. you can't blame yourself. 5. there will be less good days than bad days but the good days will be so amazing that it will feel like everything is better than it actually is. your mind is playing tricks on itself and your heart is trying to convince itself that it made the right choice. 6. they do not love you. they can not love you. this is not love. 7. you're not wrong for wanting to run, so do it. listen to what your gut is telling you. 8. you will let them come back again and again before you realize that they only change long enough for you to let them in one more time. 9. it's okay to be selfish and leave. there is never any crime in putting yourself first. when they tell you otherwise, don't believe them. don't let them tear you down. they want to knock you off your feet so that they can keep you on the ground. 10. after, you will look back on this regretting all the chances given, all the time wasted. you will think about what you know now, and what you would do differently if given the chance. part of you will say that you would never have even given them the time of the day, but another part of you, the larger one, will say that even after everything, you wouldn't have changed a thing. and as much as it will bother you, eventually, you will realize that that is the part that is right. because as much as it hurts, as much as you wish you'd never felt that pain, it has taught you something. it has helped you grow. they brought you something that you would have never gotten from somebody else. at the end of the day, you will accept that even now, you wouldn't go about it differently at all.”

PoetryEmotional AbuseAbusive RelationshipsToxic Relationship
Book:how the words come
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“Sometimes, no matter how hard we try for someone and hope that they will get better in time – they never do. Abusive relationships shouldn’t have a key to your chambers of heart. Hold your key and keep it close. Don’t end up getting addicted to such pain or human beings – for that matter. You might not be Thor but they can surely be Loki & hold you prisoner to their trickster nature.”

LoveRelationshipsLoyaltyCompanionshipHurt FeelingsAddiction And RecoveryAbusive RelationshipsTrickstersThor And Loki
Book:Red Sugar, No More
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