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Abusive Relationships Quotes

Browse 77 quotes about Abusive Relationships.

Abusive Relationships Quotes

“If you are not in tune with your intuition, you can miss the divine signs. Also, you may miss divine detours that lead to a better way. If you don’t trust your gut, you may stay in unhealthy dynamics, including toxic workplaces, abusive relationships, and unsafe spaces.”

WisdomTraumaIntuitionBoundariesAbusive RelationshipsTrust Your GutInner KnowingDivine SignsDivine DetoursUnhealthy Dynamics
Book:Intuitive Guide: How to Trust Your Gut, Embrace Divine Signs, & Connect with Heavenly Messengers
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“Objectification is a critical reason why an abuser tends to get worse over time. As his conscience adapts to one level of cruelty—or violence—he builds to the next. By depersonalizing his partner, the abuser protects himself from the natural human emotions of guilt and empathy, so that he can sleep at night with a clear conscience. He distances himself so far from her humanity that her feelings no longer count, or simply cease to exist. These walls tend to grow over time, so that after a few years in a relationship my clients can reach a point where they feel no more guilt over degrading or threatening their partners than you or I would feel after angrily kicking a stone in the driveway.”

AbuseObjectificationAbusive RelationshipsAbused WomenAbusive MenAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“ABUSIVE MEN COME in every personality type, arise from good childhoods and bad ones, are macho men or gentle, “liberated” men. No psychological test can distinguish an abusive man from a respectful one. Abusiveness is not a product of a man’s emotional injuries or of deficits in his skills. In reality, abuse springs from a man’s early cultural training, his key male role models, and his peer influences. In other words, abuse is a problem of values, not of psychology. When someone challenges an abuser’s attitudes and beliefs, he tends to reveal the contemptuous and insulting personality that normally stays hidden, reserved for private attacks on his partner. An abuser tries to keep everybody—his partner, his therapist, his friends and relatives—focused on how he feels, so that they won’t focus on how he thinks, perhaps because on some level he is aware that if you grasp the true nature of his problem, you will begin to escape his domination.”

AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive MenAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“The confusion of love with abuse is what allows abusers who kill their partners to make the absurd claim that they were driven by the depths of their loving feelings. The news media regrettably often accept the aggressors’ view of these acts, describing them as “crimes of passion.” But what could more thoroughly prove that a man did not love his partner? If a mother were to kill one of her children, would we ever accept the claim that she did it because she was overwhelmed by how much she cared? Not for an instant. Nor should we. Genuine love means respecting the humanity of the other person, wanting what is best for him or her, and supporting the other person’s self-esteem and independence. This kind of love is incompatible with abuse and coercion.”

AbuseDomestic ViolenceAbusive RelationshipsAbusive MenAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“I am often asked whether physical aggression by women toward men, such as a slap in the face, is abuse. The answer is: “It depends.” Men typically experience women’s shoves or slaps as annoying and infuriating rather than intimidating, so the long-term emotional effects are less damaging. It is rare to find a man who has gradually lost his freedom or self-esteem because of a woman’s aggressiveness.”

AbuseAbusive RelationshipsAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“When a man’s face contorts in bitterness and hatred, he looks a little insane. When his mood changes from elated to assaultive in the time it takes to turn around, his mental stability seems open to question. When he accuses his partner of plotting to harm him, he seems paranoid. It is no wonder that the partner of an abusive man would come to suspect that he was mentally ill. Yet the great majority of my clients over the years have been psychologically “normal.” Their minds work logically; they understand cause and effect; they don’t hallucinate. Their perceptions of most life circumstances are reasonably accurate. They get good reports at work; they do well in school or training programs; and no one other than their partners—and children—thinks that there is anything wrong with them. Their value system is unhealthy, not their psychology.”

AbuseMental HealthDomestic ViolenceEmotional AbuseDomestic AbusePhysical AbuseAbusive RelationshipsVerbal AbuseAbusive MenAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“There certainly are some women who treat their male partners badly, berating them, calling them names, attempting to control them. The negative impact on these men’s lives can be considerable. But do we see men whose self-esteem is gradually destroyed through this process? Do we see men whose progress in school or in their careers grinds to a halt because of the constant criticism and undermining? Where are the men whose partners are forcing them to have unwanted sex? Where are the men who are fleeing to shelters in fear for their lives? How about the ones who try to get to a phone to call for help, but the women block their way or cut the line? The reason we don’t generally see these men is simple: They’re rare. I don’t question how embarrassing it would be for a man to come forward and admit that a woman is abusing him. But don’t underestimate how humiliated a woman feels when she reveals abuse; women crave dignity just as much as men do. If shame stopped people from coming forward, no one would tell.”

AbuseDomestic ViolenceEmotional AbuseAbuse SurvivorsPhysical AbuseAbusive RelationshipsVerbal AbuseAbused WomenAbusive MenAbusive Partners
Book:Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“It was the oldest trick in the book - a constant state of low-level dread made people easy to control, because it robbed them of the sense that they could control anything themselves. This was not the sort of anxiety that moved people to action and accomplishment. This was the sort of anxiety that exceeded human capacity. ... You can no longer sit still or reason. You regress, and after a while the only thing you can do is scream, like a helpless terrified baby. you need an adult, a figure of authority. Almost anyone willing to take charge will do. And then, if that someone wants to remain in charge, he will have to make sure that you continue to feel helpless. The whole country felt helpless. You could see it if you turned on the television, which Arutyunyan rarely did. Everyone on television was screaming all the time.”

FascismTotalitarianismTrumpismAbusive RelationshipsSadopopulism
Book:The Future Is History: How Totalitarianism Reclaimed Russia
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“There came a time in my life when I had to admit to myself that I have some very clear narcissistic tendencies. Ironically, it occurred during the writing of my book The Emotionally Abused Woman. As I listed the symptoms of narcissism, I was amazed to find that I recognized myself in the description of the disorder. It should have been no surprise to me because I come from a long line of narcissists. My mother and several of her brothers suffered from the disorder, as did her mother. For some reason, though, I imagined that I’d escaped our family curse. I should have known that it’s not that easy to.”

Self RealizationNarcissismNarcissisticAbuse SurvivorsNarcissistHealing JourneySelf RealisationAbusive RelationshipsNarcissistsPersonality DisordersPersonality DisorderNarcissistic MothersNarcissistic PersonalityNarcissistic Abusers
Book:The Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome: What to Do If Someone in Your Life Has a Dual Personality - or If You Do
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“Women may come to the recovery process to "fix" their relationships, but what they end up learning is how to rescue and restore themselves. Many women believe, and you may too, that they need to speak and act differently so their partner behaves more favorably toward them. If your partner blames you for what "you made him do to you," over time you will end up blaming yourself. Your task is to realize that you are not responsible for his abusive behavior. Women tend to work hard to avoid being hurt or to seop their partners from abusing them, but they aren't successful. You cannot make your partner abuse you and you can't make him not abuse you. These are his choices and his alone. The task is to refocus on yourself and your recovery.”

AbuseEmotional AbuseAnger ManagementPhysical AbuseAbusive RelationshipsSpouse Abuse
Book:Women with Controlling Partners: Taking Back Your Life from a Manipulative or Abusive Partner
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“In a verbally abusive relationship, the partner learns to tolerate abuse without realizing it and to lose self-esteem without realizing it. She is blamed by the abuser and becomes the scapegoat. The partner is then the victim.”

Domestic ViolenceEmotional AbuseScapegoatAbusive RelationshipsScapegoating Quotes
Book:The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize It and How to Respond
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“Daddy," she says again, this time putting more of a needy whine into her voice. It is the thing that has swayed him, these times when he has come near to turning on her: remembering that she is his little girl. Reminding him that he has been, up to today, a good father. It is a manipulation. Something of her is warped out of true by this moment, and from now on all her acts of affection toward her father will be calculated, performative. Her childhood dies, for all intents and purposes. But that is better than all of her dying, she knows.”

SurvivalManipulationAbuse SurvivorsAbusive RelationshipsSurvival Mechanism
Book:The Obelisk Gate
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“Hey!” The male voice sliced through the noise. Terri ignored him, determined to get back to the bar for her next order. A harsh hand gripped her arm, jerking her back into a firm chest. “I asked your name.” Hot breath reeking of stale beer permeated her sinuses, making her stomach turn, as the tenor of his voice burrowed into her ear. Fear gripped her. Memories of the way Randy would grab her, and where it always ended, slammed into her, making her head spin. Shaking it off, Terri narrowed her eyes and whirled around, jabbing a red lacquered nail into his powder blue polo. “Back off,” she warned, snatching her arm back. He advanced on her, his large frame towering over her. “Just wanna know your name, sweetheart,” he said with a sleazy smile. “No need to get testy.” “You haven’t seen me testy.” As she turned her back on him and continued on her way, he called out to her. “Yet.” Terri--from Spring Cleaning--Coming Summer 2012”

MarriageStrength And CourageWivesAbusive Relationships
Book:Spring Cleaning
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“They're not going to bother me tonight. They won't denigrate my efforts, or ridicule anything that's mine, won't roll their eyes, or correct me, or cut me short and leave the room. They won't burden, or overwork me, or heap upon me responsibilities that are theirs. And, no more than they are doing, they won't intrude on my privacy, try to embarrass me or make me uncomfortable. Plus, they seem pretty far beyond hurting each other.”

MenFightingFearMarriageAbuseDatingObligationManipulationPtsdAbusive Relationships
Book:Why Did I Ever
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