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Quote by David Brooks

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How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

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Author

David Brooks
David Brooks

David Brooks is an American commentator and writer known for his insightful views on political, cultural, and social issues. Born on August 11, 1961, he graduated from Columbia University and has served as a columnist for The New York Times. Brooks has also appeared on various television and radio programs as a commentator. more

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“The second crucial thing I learned, especially from the authors of Crucial Conversations, is that every conversation takes place on two levels: the official conversation and the actual conversation. The official conversation is represented by the words we say about whatever topic we are nominally discussing: politics, economics, workplace issues—whatever. The actual conversation occurs in the ebb and flow of underlying emotions that get transmitted as we talk. With every comment you are either making me feel a little more safe or a little more threatened. With every comment I am showing you either respect or disrespect. With every comment we are each revealing something about our intentions: Here is why I am telling you this. Here is why this is important to me. It is the volley of these underlying emotions that will determine the success or failure of the conversation.”

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Book:How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
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“Repressing my own feelings became my default mode for moving through the world. I suppose I was driven by the usual causes: fear of intimacy; an intuition that if I really let my feelings flow, I wouldn't like what bubbled up; a fear of vulnerability; and a general social ineptitude.”

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“I must admit, sometimes I like being alone. I like playing with kids too, but there is always a problem. This problem is how people react when they see me, especially kids. I am always the one who suffers. They stare at me making ugly faces and say some mean words. It really hurts, and I must leave. I really hope that I never meet them again. Being alone protects me.”

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“Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments. Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, Or bends with the remover to remove. O no, it is an ever-fixed mark That looks on tempests and is never shaken; It is the star to every wand'ring barque, Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks Within his bending sickle's compass come; Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, But bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved.”

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