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The Circus Train

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Amita Parikh

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“Another gust whips through, and Addie folds herself against it, eyes blurring. She shuffles sideways, onto a narrow street, just to escape the violent wind, and the sudden quiet, the breezeless peace, of the alley is like down, soft and warm. Her knees fold. She slumps into a corner against a set of steps, and watches her fingers turn blue, thinks she can see frost spreading over her skin, and marvels quietly, sleepily, at her own transformation. Her breath fogs the air in front of her, each exhale briefly blotting out the world beyond until the gray city fades to white, to white, to white. Strange, how it seems to linger now, a little more with every breath, as if she's fogging up a pane of glass. She wonders how many breaths until the world is hidden. Erased, like her. Perhaps it is her vision blurring. She does not care. She is tired. She is so tired. Addie cannot stay awake, and why should she try? Sleep is such a mercy. Perhaps she will wake again in the spring, like the princess in one of her father's stories, and find herself lying in the grassy bank along the Sarthe, Estele nudging her with a worn shoe and teasing her for dreaming again.”

“Winter is viewed as a gloomy inconvenience and, rather than getting outside to reap what little daylight there is, we switch the lights on and crank up the central heating instead. This may be detrimental to our mental health: exposure to bright light, particularly during the early morning, is a tried and tested way of combating the winter blues. Similarly, many of us keep the lights and heating on long after the sun has set and spend these already brightened evenings in front of electronic gadgets, which produce yet more light. This may undermine our ability to get a decent night's sleep.”