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Girls Play Dead: Acts of Self-Preservation

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Jen Percy

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“The tales of a sybil Speak of an ancient diary Shared between angels and the diabolical devil Each page of the diary is split vertically in three- The left column enlists the dreams, And the next two columns are empty. The fields are left blank To be entered with details, Such as the date and the time The middle one is filled by the angels when the dreams are born, and the right one is done by the devil for he takes delight when they are to die. But they say one day, And that it happened only once, when devil was scrawling Eagerly in the right column He stumbled on a particular cell- On the horns of dilemma He ratified the row and reread the dream, A shiver ran down his spine, his brutal hands trembled, Sweats formed on his temple and even the devil let out a sigh. It was a dream in which you were mine.”

“Rory breathed deep, settled herself. She knew her own pain. She knew her body. She knew how it worked, even when she felt like it was betraying her, trying to make her weaker. Rory wasn’t weak because of her pain, because of what her body was going through. She had survived it. Each sleepless night, each morning where she got up and she thought she wouldn’t manage to walk, each day where she thought she’d reached the limit. She always surpassed the limit. Even when her body tried betraying her, Rory was still strong. She was strong in spite of it, maybe because of it, because she was going to survive it. This body was hers.”

“Det handlar om lugn. Detta har hon lärt sig under många år i vatten och det är något hon är bra på, en färdighet hon har finslipat. Det började eftersom hon inte ville lämna sälarna under ytan - hon ville att hennes kropp skulle klara mer, vara mer som deras, så hon arbetade med den. Hon lärde sig göra sina utandningar längre än inandningarna för att sänka hjärtfrekvensen. Hon lärde sig minska sin syreförbrukning. Hon lärde sig uthärda trycket som övergår i smärta, hon förstår att smärta inte är någonting att frukta. Hon är väldigt bra på lugn. Förutom, förstås, när det gäller hennes pappa.”