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Donald G. Firesmith

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“I just feel so guilty.” Her stinging eyes burned with fresh tears. “I don't know why I can't ... I can't...” “Make love to him?” She nodded. “Let him see you?” She nodded again, tears sliding down her face. She mopped them up with the wet tissue she'd wadded in her fist. “Are you scared he won't love you anymore, after he's seen how you look now?” her dad asked gently. “No.” “Are you scared he won't be attracted to you anymore? That he won't want to be your lover?” “No.” “What are you scared of, Vanka?” “I don't feel the same way about myself, now. I don't even know how to explain it. I'm not ashamed. I don't feel ugly. But the way I was, who I was when we ... when we fell in love, I'm not that person, now.” “You're not in love with him anymore?” “I am,” her voice broke on a sob. “So in love. Like I never knew it could be. I thought I loved David. I thought I loved Mark. But, god, Dad, the way I love Galen...”

“Thomas was frowning. “My aunt Tatiana is mad. My father has often said so, that his sister was driven to madness by what happened to her father and her husband. She blames our parents for their deaths.” “But James has never done anything to her,” said Christopher, his eyebrows knitting together. “He’s a Herondale,” said Thomas. “That’s enough.” “That’s ridiculous,” Christopher said. “It is as if one was bitten by a duck and years later one shot a completely different duck and ate it for dinner, and called that revenge.” “Please do not use metaphors, Christopher,” said Matthew. “It gives me the pip.” “This is bad enough without mentioning ducks,” said James. He had never fancied ducks since one had bitten him in Hyde Park as a small child.”