“He has been travelling blindly, whether forward he cannot say, without learning anything except that he has not yet learned anything, unless he counts the extent of his own ignorance, like those who have searched fruitlessly for the source of the Nile. Like them, he must take into account the possibility of defeat. Hopeless dispatches, scrawled on pieces of bark, sent out in cleft sticks from the swallowing jungle. Suffering from malaria. Bitten by snake. Send more medicine. The maps are wrong.”
Source: Alias Grace
“This is not life.
This is not living.
This is a prison,
where the bars are my own ribs,
where my heart is held captive.
I scream inside this skull,
but the sound loops endlessly,
fading into the vast emptiness.
I do not belong here.
I do not belong anywhere.”
Source: VERSES OF THE BROKEN: Echoes From A Fractured Mind
“i am not thankful as i should be...i want to grind my knife into my heart but i don’t have the heart to do it...please find me (i’m invisible)”
“During this time of almost continuous despair, I often told Morrigan about my recurring fantasy: breaking up with her (or vice versa), quitting my job, moving to some cheap, shitty little one-room apartment in Mustamäe, staying isolated indoors for months on end, eating only canned beans, drinking copious amounts of red wine, talking to cockroaches, and slowly going insane—until one day, inspired by Philipp Mainländer, I’d build a pedestal out of copies of my novel and hang myself from the ceiling.”
Source: Broken: Twenty Pieces
“These days, everything’s bad.
The future waits in a button.
No one plans, nobody says:
Three years from now ...”
Source: The Wild Olive Tree: Poems..
“I exist inside a living hell — not a nightmare, but an unrelenting, screaming abyss with no exit. I am cursed beyond redemption, haunted by horrors that claw at my soul, and possessed by something monstrous that wears my face and mocks my every scream. Every second is torture — not pain, but a divine punishment etched into my bones, burning through my nerves, flooding my skull with fire. I am not alive. I am a condemned vessel, dragged through a waking exorcism that never ends.”
“I had never before understood what "despair" meant, and I am not sure that I understand now, but I understood that year.”
Source: Goodbye To All That
“I didn’t survive — i just kept decaying.
A quiet truth for the forgotten.”
Source: Sex, Drugs, and Schizophrenia
“He doesn’t lock the door anymore—not out of courage, but quiet desperation. Each night, he lies there, hollowed and waiting, hoping a stranger might cross the threshold and finish the story he can’t bring himself to end. It isn’t bravery. It’s surrender in disguise. He doesn’t wish for peace, not even sleep—just an ending that isn’t authored by his own hand. A final act. A random mercy. That’s all he asks.”
Source: Sex, Drugs, and Schizophrenia
“Every death that didn’t happen... this is where they came. All of the endings that tried and failed.”
Source: Where Is Death: A Cosmic Horror Tale About Six Broken Strangers and the Search for Death, Who’s Gone Missing Without a Trace