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blanco vandam

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“Refusing to listen to him any longer, Julian backs up. “Whenever you realize working together is in Summer’s best interest, come find me, Boy Scout. Until then, I’ll just pretend you don’t exist.” Then he walks away. Gage glares at Julian’s retreating form. His hand scrapes through his hair as he fumes. A guttural roar of rage crawls up his throat, and he kicks the sand. Damn him and his stupid logic. He’s right. And Gage knows he’s right. But that doesn’t mean he has to like it.”

“Eifersucht war - das hatte Tsukuru durch diesen Traum begriffen - das trostloseste Gefängnis, das es auf der Welt gab. Denn es war ein Gefängnis, in das der Gefangene sich gewissermaßen selbst einsperrte. Niemand zwang ihn dazu. Er ging aus freien Stücken hinein, schloss von innen ab und warf den Schlüssel durch das Gitter nach außen. Und niemand auf der ganzen Welt wusste, dass er dort eingekerkert war. Nur wenn er sich selbst dazu entschloss, konnte er es verlassen. Denn das Gefängnis befand sich in seinem Inneren. Doch er war außerstande, diesen Entschluss zu fassen. Sein Herz war von einer unüberwindlichen Mauer umgeben. Das war die wahre Natur der Eifersucht.”

“The theatre is a tragic place, full of endings and partings and heartbreak. You dedicate yourself passionately to something, to a project, to people, to a family, you think of nothing else for weeks and months, then suddenly it's over, it's perpetual destruction, perpetual divorce, perpetual adieu. It's like éternel retour, it's a koan. It's like falling in love and being smashed over and over again.’ 'You do, then, fall in love.’ 'Only with fictions, I love players, but actors are so ephemeral. And then there’s waiting for the perfect part, and being offered it the day after you've committed yourself to something utterly rotten. The remorse, and the envy and the jealousy. An old actor told me if I wanted to stay in the trade I had better kill off envy and jealousy at the start.”

“Where did you get the control sample?" A flash of dark heat raced through him and he knew himself well enough to identify it as a dose of pure jealousy. "From Tamsyn." A pause, as if she was debating whether to continue. "I know you'd react negatively if I approached a make. You're... possessive." "Sugar, I'm way past possessive." His voice was no longer fully human.”