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Quote by Jill Telford

“If you can’t crawl, roll. If you can't roll then get that tummy time in.  This is the story of the stages of development and how children need caring grown ups to nurture our babies so they grow into their fullest potential.”

Quote by Jill Telford

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Jill Telford

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“Have you seen those kids nowadays? What they’re like? They’re f****** nightmares. And you do feel like strangling them. At times. They scream like banshees or maniacs. They’re mini sociopaths in the making. It should be illegal to scream like they do. It’s criminal. They should be arrested or silenced with———————. Yeah, whatever. While you wonder why the f*** they’re screaming like crazy, their mom shows up and tell you that they actually sh** their pants. Sorry. ‘Diapers.’ They sh** their ‘diapers’. So, take a hint. And turns out that all along, they were hungry, thirsty for coconut water. Or is it milk? Oh that’s right, ‘nuts.’ Babies are pros at juggling nuts while having colic nanoseconds ago. Either way, they’re diminutive unruly monsters whose terrorizing skills should not be underestimated.”

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“What man is interested in someone else’s baby? First and foremost, that baby is the living embodiment of some other male’s success in mating. Mating is our biological imperative and the father of the wretched thing won; beat us in this biological imperative. We’re the loser. We’ve let him succeed in perpetuating his genes.”

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