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This Song Will Save Your Life

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Leila Sales

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“To my mind the infelicities of which we see so much in life grow out of lack of time and patience to study and adjust our natures to those of others, though we have agreed in the sight of God and man to stand up for one another to the last. Many will not take the pains, they have not enough specific gravity, to balance themselves in their new environment. Indeed, I found a whole philosophy of life in the wooing and the winning of my bicycle.”

Getting Along With Others
Book:How I Learned to Ride the Bicycle: Reflections of an Influential 19th Century Woman
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“Dissociation gets you through a brutal experience, letting your basic survival skills operate unimpeded…Your ability to survive is enhanced as the ability to feel is diminished…All feeling are blocked; you ‘go away.’ You are disconnected from the act, the perpetrator & yourself…Viewing the scene from up above or some other out-of-body perspective is common among sexual abuse survivors.”

AbuseSexual AbuseRapeNumbDissociationChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsDisconnectedNumbnessIncestChild RapeChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorDepersonalizationDissociatedOut Of Body ExperienceOut Of Body
Book:Repressed Memories: A Journey to Recovery from Sexual Abuse
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“In this climate of profoundly disrupted relationships the child faces a formidable developmental task. She must find a way to form primary attachments to caretakers who are either dangerous or, from her perspective, negligent. She must find a way to develop a sense of basic trust and safely with caretakers who are untrustworthy and unsafe. She must develop a sense of self in relation to others who are helpless, uncaring or cruel. She must develop a capacity for bodily self-regulation in an environinent in which her body is at the disposal of others' needs as well as a capacity for self-soothing in an environment without solace. She must develop the capacity for initiative in an environment which demands that she bring her will into complete conformity with that of her abuser. And ultimately, she must develop a capacity for intimacy out of an environment where all intimate relationships are corrupt, and an identity out of an environment which defines her as a whore and a slave.”

Child Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsTraumatic ExperiencesTraumatizedComplex PtsdAbusive ParentsAbused ChildrenAbused ChildDouble BindDisorganized Attachment
Book:Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence - From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror
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