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It's OK That You're Not OK

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Megan Devine

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“I'm sorry you lost your friends.' 'I'm sorry you lost yours.' Bryce nodded her thanks, going back to stirring. 'I know people don't get it. It's just... a light went out inside me when it happened. Danika wasn't my sister, or my lover. But she was the one person I could be myself around and never feel judged. The one person that I knew would always pick up the phone, or call me back. She was the one person who made me feel brave because no matter what happened, no matter how bad or embarrassing or shitty it was, I knew that I had her in my corner. That if it all went to Hel, I could talk to her and it would be fine.' Her eyes gleamed, and it was all he could do to not cross the few feet between them and grab her hand as she continued. 'But it... I'm not fine. I will never talk to her again. I think people expect me to be over it by now. But I can't. Anytime I get anywhere close to the truth of my new reality, I want to space out again. To not have to be me. I can't fucking dance anymore because it reminds me of her- of all the dancing we did together in clubs or on the streets or in our apartment or dorm. I won't let myself dance anymore because it brought me joy, and... And I didn't, I don't, want to feel those things.' She swallowed. 'I know it sounds pathetic.' 'It's not,' he said quietly. 'I'm sorry I dumped my baggage in your lap.' A corner of his mouth turned up. 'You can dump your baggage in my lap anytime, Quinlan.' She snorted, shaking her head. 'You made it sound gross.' 'You said it first.”

“This has gone on longer than I anticipated, but I know what it feels like to lose someone you love. To feel as if you're left behind, or like your life is in shambles and there's no guidebook to tell you how to stitch it back together. But time will slowly heal you, as it is doing for me. There are good days and there are difficult days. Your grief will never fully fade; it will always be with you -- a shadow you carry in your soul -- but it will become fainter as your life becomes brighter. You will learn to live outside of it again, as impossible as that may sound. Others who share your pain will also help you heal. Because you are not alone. Not in you fear or you grief or your hopes or your dreams. You are not alone.”