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Quote by Shellen Lubin

“I'm sorry'--like 'I love you'--like many phrases--means more than one thing, even on its surface. So people get confused what they're saying and what they're hearing when the words 'I'm sorry' are spoken... But even when you're clear which kind of 'sorry' is in play, the words of an apology only mean what they are invested with. 'I'm sorry' is the vessel. What's inside the 'sorry' container makes all the difference.”

Quote by Shellen Lubin

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Shellen Lubin

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“There were times in my life, whole years, when anger got the better of me. Ugliness turned me inside out. There was a certain satisfaction in bitterness. I courted it. It was standing outside, and I invited it in. I scowled at the world. And the world scowled back ... And to be honest: I wasn’t really angry. Not anymore. I had left my anger somewhere long ago. Put it down on a park bench and walked away. And yet. It had been so long, I didn’t know any other way of being. One day I woke up and said to myself: It’s not too late. The first days were strange. I had to practice smiling in front of the mirror. But it came back to me. It was as if a weight had been lifted. I let go, and something let go of me.”

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“Guilt is not an intrinsically helpful emotion for future decision-making. And often the spiral of guilt and shame can lead criminals to remain criminals. This idea was so intriguing to me, for personal reasons that should arlready be clear, that I later took it on for my undergraduate senior thesis. My paper, which I turned in six weeks early and for which I received an A, was titled "Remorse and Absolution: Peas in a Pod or Dangerous Bunkmates?”

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