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Quote by Alice Miller

“If not consciously acknowledged and mourned, uncertainty about one's descent can cause great anxiety and unrest, all the more so if, as in Alois's case, it is linked with an ominous rumor that can neither be proven nor completely refuted”

Book:For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence

Work

For Your Own Good: Hidden Cruelty in Child-Rearing and the Roots of Violence

This book delves into the potential consequences of certain child-rearing methods on the formation of violent behavior in adults, offering insights into the roots of aggression and its societal implications. more

Author

Alice Miller

Alice Miller, born on January 12, 1923, and died on April 12, 2010, was a renowned psychologist. Her research focused on child psychology and the psychology of abuse, delving deeply into the psychological impact of child abuse and neglect. more

“Obedience, coercion, severity, and lack of feeling are no longer recognized as absolute values. But the road to the realization of the new ideals is frequently blocked by the need to repress the sufferings of one's childhood, and this leads to a lack of empathy. It is precisely little Katies and Konrads who as adults close their ears to the subject of child abuse (or else minimize its harmfulness), because they themselves claim to have had a "happy childhood". Yet their very lack of empathy reveals the opposite: they had to keep a stiff upper lip at a very early age. Those who actually had the privilege of growing up in an emphatic environment (which is extremely rare, for until recently it was not generally known how much a child can suffer), or who later create an inner emphatic object, are more likely to be open to the suffering of others, or at least will not deny its existence. This is a necessary precondition if old wounds are to heal instead of merely being covered up with the help of the next generation.”

For Your Own Good

Author:Alice Miller

“The child's dependence on his or her parents' love also makes it impossible in later years to recognize these traumatizations, which often remain hidden behind the early idealization of the parents for the rest of the child's life.”

For Your Own Good

Author:Alice Miller

“Our capacity to resist has nothing to do with our intelligence but with the degree of access to our true self.”

For Your Own Good

Author:Alice Miller

“In the tradition we are dealing with, it was considered obstinacy and was therefore frowned upon to have a will and mind of one's own. It is easy to understand that an intelligent child would want to escape punishments devised for those possessing these traits and that he or she could do so without any difficulty. What the child didn't realize was that escape came at a high price.”

For Your Own Good

Author:Alice Miller