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Quote by Elizabeth Everett

“Good God, the boy better not emigrate to Canada, they'll shoot him for his pelt.”

Book:A Love by Design

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A Love by Design

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Elizabeth Everett

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“A GUIDE TO DIFFERENT RELIGIONS Taoism: Shit happens. Zen: What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism: This shit's happened before. Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah. Protestantism: Shit happens because we don't work hard enough. Catholicism: Shit happens because we are bad. Christian Fundamentalism: Shit happens because the Bible says so. Jehovah's Witness: Knock, knock. 'Shit happens." Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us? Agnosticism: We don't know shit. Atheism: No shit. Hare Krishna: Shit happens - rama rama ding ding. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.”

Humour

Book:This Book...of More Perfectly Useless Information

Source: This Book...of More Perfectly Useless Information

“I was meeting the spitting boys today.”

Humour

Book:The Lady in the Lake

Source: The Lady in the Lake

“I'm poor too, so I can't give you any money. But if you're not fussy I can provide your feed for you." "What?" "Oh sorry. It's the first time I have kept an animal at home, so it feels like having a pet, you see.”

Relationships Humour

Book:Convenience Store Woman

Source: Convenience Store Woman

“More often than not the love that you give yourself will be a reflection of the love you give yourself. If you can't treat yourself with kindness, care and patience, chances are someone elese won't either.”

Love Life Humour Non Fiction

Book:Everything I Know About Love

Source: Everything I Know About Love

“I plead your cause? What the devil gave you the notion that I plead any causes but my own? Believe me, it's wide of the mark!" "You can't be such a - such a care-for-nobody as to refuse to lift as much as a finger to assist me!" said Stacy indignantly. "Oh you're quite mistaken! I am precisely such a care-for-nobody.”

Humour Regency No Family Feeling

Book:Black Sheep

Source: Black Sheep

“A thought popped into my head, the same one that appears any time I’m in an elevator with another person: If we get stuck between floors, how long should I wait before I suggest we draw straws? ‘I know what you’re thinking,’ Cuthbert said. I doubted that.”

Humour Cannibalism

Book:Headcase

Source: Headcase

“Do you know what irony is, de Leon? They make swords out of it, don't they? Mix it with coally and hit it with a hammery?”

Humor Humour Irony Sarcasm Irony Quotes Gallows Humor Sarcastic Quotes Gallows Humour Blackadder

Book:Empire of the Vampire

Source: Empire of the Vampire

“Being single is for white people. You need to stop it.”

Humour

Book:Dating Dr. Dil

Source: Dating Dr. Dil

“there are many reasons to be sad. u may be sad because u feel alone. the comforting thing abot feeling lonely is that every thing that has ever existed also knows what loneliness feels like too. u may be sad because u are sad. it is ok to be sad but if u are sad because happiness is fleeting, just remember that sadness is also fleeting too.”

Life Happiness Sadness

Book:Everyone's a Aliebn When Ur a Aliebn Too

Source: Everyone's a Aliebn When Ur a Aliebn Too

“They have been talking about me, it's obvious. Their cheeks are plump and pink and shining like they've been eating too much sugar, but actually it's Gossip Glow, the flushed look that comes from throwing another woman under the bus.”

Humor Humour Nomenclature Urban Dictionary

Book:Bunny

Source: Bunny

Quote by Elizabeth Everett

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