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Quote by Neel Burton

Work

For Better For Worse: Essays on Sex, Love, Marriage, and More

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Author

Neel Burton
Neel Burton

Neel Burton is an expert in an unknown field, born on June 3, 1978. His biography and contributions are not yet clear, and more information is needed. more

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“We can learn to claim our closeness with our partners—to push back against the world’s duties and pressures and insist upon our time together. A little bit of time each and every week is all we’re after. Enough to reconnect, to keep our desire alive and well, and to escape from life’s stresses and obligations long enough to let go into each other.”

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“Making love is a risky business. The more people surrender to, and invest themselves in the one they love, the more they run the risk of being emotionally burnt if the relationship ends. Like any economic investment, there is a realization that the more care and love you give to a loved one, the greater the loss if they leave or die. And yet, despite all the messages to live free, to taste and try, and despite the grief and heartache that comes when love fails or dies, people still enter into marriage and long-term relationships and commitments.”

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“If in my lifetime I lose my memories and all my love for you is stolen away, remind me of the times that I loved you when you were unlovable, the hours when I cried myself to sleep, the days I yearned for your love but was left empty-handed, the years that were hard, and the scars they left behind. If you remind me of the sorrow that I've felt loving you, then I may never remember the years we had together, but I will recognize the strength of our bond through the endurance of our trials.”

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“وقتی بدانید که مشکل موردنظر تنها دامن گیر شما نیست و دیگران هم با آن روبه رو هستند، رو به رو شدن با آن ساده تر است. مجبور نیستید آن را مسئله ای شخصی تلقی کنید آن را مسئله ای می بینید که دیگران هم دارند و منحصر به شما و همسرتان نمی شود، با دانستن این مطلب احتمالا با آرامش بیشتری با آن برخورد می کنید.”

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“در واقع حساسیتی که در دوران کودکی شخص ایجاد شده ممکن است سبب شود که او به برخی از جنبه های حقیقی شدیدا توجه داشته باشد. درست همان طور که سگ ها صداهایی را می شنوند که انسان از شنیدن آن عاجز است، برخی از حساسیت های دوران کودکی شخص را در موقعیتی قرار می دهد تا مطالبی را که دیگران متوجه آن نمی شوند درک نمایند. برای مثال زنی که در کودکی مورد کم لطفی و بی اعتنایی قرار گرفته ممکن است نسبت به کمترین بی اعتنایی شوهرش واکنش شدید نشان دهد.”

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“من به زوج ها توصیه می کنم که با مسائل زناشویی به همان طریق که با آنفولانزا برخورد می کنند روبه رو شوند. اشخاص مواظب هستند از شرایطی که ممکن است سرماخوردگی را به آنها منتقل کند جلوگیری نمایند. اما در عین حال مقداری آسپرین تدارک می بینند و به محض آنکه نخستین نشانه های سرماخوردگی را احساس کردند از آن مصرف می کنند. وقتی کودکی در یک خانواده تب می کند همه برای کمک به او بسیج می شوند.”

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“They are about to say "I do", three little letters, two little words. Its the simplest part of the day; but there is nothing simple about the things that will remain unsaid. "I do" means I do know I could be hurt, but I am ready to be healed with you. It means I do want to try, even when the fear of failure holds me back. And I do not know the future, but I am ready to be surprised along the way. "I do" means I do want your love & I do give you mine. And nothing we do will ever be the same, because we will be doing it all together.”

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